BV Health
Modern Love in the BV Community
Posted: 2005-04-25 13:02:11
Here is what you in the BV Community had to say about how AIDS has affected your intimate relationships. Thank you for sharing.
From the Over-40 Set
Brezzydee8 says:
I will say that AIDS wasn't really real to me until my oldest son lived with it for 5 years before he died in 2001. Taking care of him, going through the stages of denial, acceptance, then submission. Reality for me was to be tested, which I was, (neg) and from then on I use protection. I question my partner, and should he not want to answer or use protection, then he gets NONE.
My son living through that was the same as me, waiting on the results was a horror for me. But once I found that I was ok I made sure that I won't make the same mistake again.
From the Over-40 Set
Brezzydee8 says:
I will say that AIDS wasn't really real to me until my oldest son lived with it for 5 years before he died in 2001. Taking care of him, going through the stages of denial, acceptance, then submission. Reality for me was to be tested, which I was, (neg) and from then on I use protection. I question my partner, and should he not want to answer or use protection, then he gets NONE.
My son living through that was the same as me, waiting on the results was a horror for me. But once I found that I was ok I made sure that I won't make the same mistake again.
MZMCSE says:
HIV/AIDS has absolutely had an impact in my sex life. I’m into more of self-gratification. I'm still searching for that one LATEX condom that does not irritate me. I enjoy lambskin, but they are not recommended for protection against either of the aforementioned. So with my reaction to latex that has really put a damper on things. But coupled with these diseases are DL and Metro Sexual men. Both look the same, so how the hell am I suppose to differentiate?
lauren35 says:
Most of my true sexual craziness took place in the early 80's, when we figured only gay folks and drug users had AIDS. I calmed down by 1989. But I still didn't ask deep questions -- we just wrapped the Whopper and kept going. Since I'm still allowed to give blood, I guess either I did the right things... or I got lucky...
mstweetyv says:
I am divorced and very, very scared to date right now. I have gotten to thinking that I may be alone for the rest of my life. Men scare me a lot right now.
Casey18735 says:
Yes, I am not having any sex.
mivoyce says:
Yes... me neeva... I am not having sex.
From the Under-40 Set
Culotti says:
It's been an epidemic since I started having sex, I'm 24. So yes, I have always been very cautious. I hear my parents talk about it sometimes, and they just feel bad and fearful of this disease. Both my parents have been married for 20 years and they have remained faithful to one another, so they just worry for their children's safety from this disease.
ton0305 says:
I'm so thankful that I am in a committed relationship now. I feel that I have become almost homophobic after being single for the past couple of years. You see I live in the Washington, D.C. area and there are so many men on the down low (having sex with both male and female). I am fully aware that this is not the only way to contract AIDS, however it certainly increases your chances. When I was single I found myself drilling guys and looking for any little clue that would indicate he was on the d/l. Too feminine -- RED FLAG, too neat -- RED FLAG!! If you are too skinny, again another flag. It can be nerve-wracking and unproductive to starting a relationship if you’re constantly worried about the possibility of contracting AIDS.
I feel we all have a long way to go. I can remember last summer I met this guy and he came over the next day to visit me. It got late and he asked to spend the night. He then stripped naked and made several attempts through the night to penetrate me without a condom. I kindly asked him to leave and have not heard from him since. I share this story just to say there are still a lot of people taking chances and indulging in risky behavior. Please people be safe and don't judge a book but its cover. Though I'm HIV negative... how did he know that? He never even asked.
1lovelylady2 says:
No sex here. It’s been almost 3yrs. I think I want a hubby. LOL
My reasons are not because of the threat to health while that is of great concern. People for the most part just don't care........some women feel that they have to sex a man in order to have one. Some men feel that sex and how good he is at it defines his manhood. In all of this they are spreading diseases amongst each other carelessly. Most people will sex each other without knowing the other's sexual history. You have couples together today that do not know if either of them have HIV, and one of them could be having relations with others. It's sad.
dladycapree says:
AIDS has brought my sex life to a halt. I had a friend that I had been casually having sex with for the past 8 years. He was like my in-between-relationship guy. After so many AIDS outbreaks here, we both had ourselves tested and I decided to become celibate. With things the way they are now, I don't know if I even want to venture back into that lifestyle. I'm praying that when I get married, God will bless me with a clean, faithful husband. Maybe then I can sleep better at night. But then again, I still have 2 kids to try and steer clear of the virus.
woody32 says:
I have been abstinent for 7 years. It has very little to contracting AIDS -- it has more with the mixing of spirits.
lovelymocca says:
30 year old virgin. No sex EVER! Don't plan to. So AIDS will NEVER affect me.
Deep-Cover says:
Planes crash, but I still fly at least twice a week... Cars crash, but I still drive... People shoot up post offices, but I still mail letters and buy stamps... People outside the US hate us, but I still travel overseas... The fact of the matter is, in life we take risks. So even though AIDS is a fact of life, I just strap up, get my freak on, and get tested every 6 months.
I'm so thankful that I am in a committed relationship now. I feel that I have become almost homophobic after being single for the past couple of years. You see I live in the Washington, D.C. area and there are so many men on the down low (having sex with both male and female). I am fully aware that this is not the only way to contract AIDS, however it certainly increases your chances. When I was single I found myself drilling guys and looking for any little clue that would indicate he was on the d/l. Too feminine -- RED FLAG, too neat -- RED FLAG!! If you are too skinny, again another flag. It can be nerve-wracking and unproductive to starting a relationship if you’re constantly worried about the possibility of contracting AIDS.
I feel we all have a long way to go. I can remember last summer I met this guy and he came over the next day to visit me. It got late and he asked to spend the night. He then stripped naked and made several attempts through the night to penetrate me without a condom. I kindly asked him to leave and have not heard from him since. I share this story just to say there are still a lot of people taking chances and indulging in risky behavior. Please people be safe and don't judge a book but its cover. Though I'm HIV negative... how did he know that? He never even asked.
1lovelylady2 says:
No sex here. It’s been almost 3yrs. I think I want a hubby. LOL
My reasons are not because of the threat to health while that is of great concern. People for the most part just don't care........some women feel that they have to sex a man in order to have one. Some men feel that sex and how good he is at it defines his manhood. In all of this they are spreading diseases amongst each other carelessly. Most people will sex each other without knowing the other's sexual history. You have couples together today that do not know if either of them have HIV, and one of them could be having relations with others. It's sad.
dladycapree says:
AIDS has brought my sex life to a halt. I had a friend that I had been casually having sex with for the past 8 years. He was like my in-between-relationship guy. After so many AIDS outbreaks here, we both had ourselves tested and I decided to become celibate. With things the way they are now, I don't know if I even want to venture back into that lifestyle. I'm praying that when I get married, God will bless me with a clean, faithful husband. Maybe then I can sleep better at night. But then again, I still have 2 kids to try and steer clear of the virus.
woody32 says:
I have been abstinent for 7 years. It has very little to contracting AIDS -- it has more with the mixing of spirits.
lovelymocca says:
30 year old virgin. No sex EVER! Don't plan to. So AIDS will NEVER affect me.
Deep-Cover says:
Planes crash, but I still fly at least twice a week... Cars crash, but I still drive... People shoot up post offices, but I still mail letters and buy stamps... People outside the US hate us, but I still travel overseas... The fact of the matter is, in life we take risks. So even though AIDS is a fact of life, I just strap up, get my freak on, and get tested every 6 months.
tamarat0603 says:
I understand what you're saying, Satchmo76, but if people go into having sex with someone they actually care about then putting on a condom should not kill the mood. The whole point of it is this: either people start protecting themselves or they die for the sake of having pleasurable sex. I've had friends and members of my family die from AIDS because they were afraid of asking their partners to wear protection. They didn't want to go through the argument of their lovers asking them why they should wear a condom and accusing them of cheating when in fact it was the other way around. Sex is overrated. Most times it's not even all that! So why put yourself through the stress and heartache of trying to please someone allowing someone to have sex with them without protection?
HEARSAY says:
I definitely agree with y'all on this one, we should be scared to death of HIV/AIDS. The AIDS epidemic is wreaking havoc in our communities...killing us Black folk. And, let's not forget the resistant strains of HIV and Chlamydia. How do we stop it? Get tested. Communicate with your partners...talk about sex! Stay monogamous. I'm abstinent as well... but like Woody32, it's more about the mixing of spirits... i.e., soul ties.
I understand what you're saying, Satchmo76, but if people go into having sex with someone they actually care about then putting on a condom should not kill the mood. The whole point of it is this: either people start protecting themselves or they die for the sake of having pleasurable sex. I've had friends and members of my family die from AIDS because they were afraid of asking their partners to wear protection. They didn't want to go through the argument of their lovers asking them why they should wear a condom and accusing them of cheating when in fact it was the other way around. Sex is overrated. Most times it's not even all that! So why put yourself through the stress and heartache of trying to please someone allowing someone to have sex with them without protection?
HEARSAY says:
I definitely agree with y'all on this one, we should be scared to death of HIV/AIDS. The AIDS epidemic is wreaking havoc in our communities...killing us Black folk. And, let's not forget the resistant strains of HIV and Chlamydia. How do we stop it? Get tested. Communicate with your partners...talk about sex! Stay monogamous. I'm abstinent as well... but like Woody32, it's more about the mixing of spirits... i.e., soul ties.
2005-04-25 12:21:59
