Famous Eligible Bachelors

Filed under: Sexual Health

There are two things human beings do very well, run their mouths and, ahem...procreate.

Trust me, right now someone in this world, actually probably many people, are getting their collective freaks on, in famliar and unfamiliar ways. There are people who should be having sex as well as people who shouldn't (at least not with each other). Through the 2 million-year history of our species, every generation got here through the act of coitus, and nobody asked, "Was it good for you, baby?" because we were boning before we had learned to talk.

But, oddly enough, in modern times, we put far more societal emphasis on people flapping their jaws than people slapping their loins. The result is a lot less sex education than we need and reports like the one from the CDC that says sexually transmitted diseases are on the rise -- particularly since the Bush administration did everything it could to eliminate sex ed from classrooms.

In fairness, the people offering the report say that better testing is revealing that more people are walking around burning, which is actually a good thing. Medical science isolating a disease and then treating it is how we eradicate it. But the fact that instances of diseases like chlamydia being the most ever reported last year (at 1.2 million cases) and syphillis making a comeback (despite being nearly annihilated a decade ago) points to lax attitudes about our sexual health. (Note: I don't believe in terms, like, "safe sex," because your sexual behavior should be a part of your overall outlook on health.)

Now the funniest thing about the chlamydia rate is that it is reported highest in teenaged girls and affecting African Americans worst of all. If we look back a few years to the previous administration, where President Goerge W. Bush insisted that the best sex ed was "abstinence only" instruction, technically, he was right. The only sure fire way to not get pregnant or go home with extra luggage is to keep your skivvies pulled up at all times.

With that said, how many teens actually did that? Remember as I said earlier, as a species, we've been doing it for a couple million years. There is nothing in the way we construct our societies that would suggest teaching teenagers -- who are just discovering their sexual virility -- that abstinence is something they can easily uphold despite their base instincts telling them otherwise.

Don't get me wrong, we'd all like to think our teenaged daughters are "saving it" and that our young sons are waiting for "the one." The truth is, though, times have changed and as a society we are just more liberal about sex. So why shouldn't the way we educate our youth about sex reflect that?

This isn't to say that we should be teaching 15-year-olds advanced whipped cream and honey methods or making the Kama Sutra a high school textbook (besides it probably wouldn't replace Juggs in any boy's locker anyway). But we should be teaching young people to be responsible with their bodies, to respect themselves, making them understand that sex isn't a toy or a weapon, and that like anything else, there is a consequence for their choices. Most importantly, we should teach that if they do choose sex, there are alternatives to "barebacking it" that would protect them in the short and long term.

Now, I know there are a lot of people who disagree with me wholeheartedly on this matter, primarily because of their political or religious views. But I've gotta challenge them with this: I've seen urban clinics passing out condoms, giving out birth control advice, and literature on sexual health that very, very significantly reduced the number of STDs and teen pregnancies in whole communities -- but they are constantly fighting for funds and resources to do their work.

On the other hand, every black community I know is full of preachers and politicians, and I have yet to hear any of them report that they actually prevented the spread of HIV, herpes, syphillis, gonnorhea, genital warts or any other disease, or reduced teen pregnancy. But there always seems to magically be funding and resources for them.

So yeah, this post was more parental discretion advised, but believe me, I can't even get as blunt as I'd like to. Still the message is that when it comes to our health, knowledge is to overall prevention what Viagra is to... well, you know.

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Filed under: Celebrity Love, Dating

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Filed under: Relationships, Marriage, E Male

A long time ago I was schooled: Most women get married hoping their spouses will change; most men get married hoping their wives won't. It's a classic conflict of expectations between the genders, although a bit lopsided. Men are being out-maneuvered at every turn. It's embarrassing. This is a matter of lifestyle versus wifestyle, the latter being defined by a woman's overhaul of a man's habits, attitudes, behavior and sensibilities. Only the strong survive. Most men don't.

By the time they figure out what hit them, it's too late. Their wardrobe is full of dad jeans, pleated shorts and plaid boxers. Friends have been run off like trespassers. The dirty talk has been disinfected. The honey-to-do list reads like a modern-day version of the Dead Sea Scrolls. He's cooked and barely aware of it; the proverbial frog in the boiling water. Damn shame.

You know what I'm talking about.

Advice to both parties: Married men, be good husbands, but stop letting your wives shape and mold you like putty. Modify your lifestyle, as you should, but don't swap it for the wifestyle. In the long-run, she'll appreciate it and respect you more. Married women, don't do it. Don't wifestyle him. Because once he's bored and boring, you and the relationship will be even more bored and boring. Granted, a man who maintains his male identity and instincts is always a gamble. But a man without them is always a bit of a goof. One is sexy; one is safe. Let me suggest that the two of you find the middle ground. Life is too short to be emasculated, and the marriage will likely be even shorter.

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