Life & Style

Filed under: Celebrity Style , Budget Fashion

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Filed under: Celebrity Style , Hot or Not , Red Carpet

A Fridge
Regardless of whether you have a wonderful sized meal plan, your fridge may come in handy with leftovers or when you feel like stocking it with bottled drinks.

Computer
The convenience of a computer is essential when sending your kids off to college. Forget the hike to the computer lab across campus students need a computer in the comfort of their room. A printer comes in handy as well. Depending on whether your child plans to carry his laptop around campus, you might opt for a desk top since they're lighter on the pockets.

Snacks
You will surely survive with off of a meal plan but it doesn't hurt to stock up on snacks when you don't feel like leaving your dorm room. Bottled water, pop corn, cereal and Ramen noodles are all low budget snacks to stock up on. Just be weary of the freshman 15.

Things from home
Some college students suffer from homesickness the first year. It's best to surround yourself with things like photos of the family, pillows or even stuffed animals. Anything that reminds your child of home.

MP3 Player
With all the stress that comes from school and exams, sometimes it's nice to block out the chaos in your life and even your roommate with music. It's nearly impossible to find students walking to class who aren't jamming to tunes.

Budget
Students who enter college often come in at the ripening age of 18. A great time for credit cards. Parents beware, your child may end up ruining their credit at a young age

Alarm Clock
When you're in college you don't have the luxury of getting awaken by your parents. It's now your responsibility to get to class on time so alarm clocks are a must. But keep your roommate in mind. You shouldn't wake him up ever morning with a blow horn alarm.

Cleaning supplies
Now you don't necessarily need to bring in the rubber gloves, mop and gas mask but it doesn't hurt to bring along Clorox all purpose wipes for spills or dust. Vacuums and brooms come in handy too depending if you have a carpeted dorm.

Bedding
What most parents aren't aware of is that most college beds are twin sized but extra long and require special sheets. When shopping keep your eye open for sheets that clearly state 'extra long' or else your child may come up short.

Shower shoes
You really don't know what some people do in the shower these days. College showers are known to be creeping with germs so spare yourself the fungus and purchase flip flops for the shower. You'll thank us later!

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Filed under: Celebrity Style , Hot or Not , Red Carpet

A Fridge
Regardless of whether you have a wonderful sized meal plan, your fridge may come in handy with leftovers or when you feel like stocking it with bottled drinks.

Computer
The convenience of a computer is essential when sending your kids off to college. Forget the hike to the computer lab across campus students need a computer in the comfort of their room. A printer comes in handy as well. Depending on whether your child plans to carry his laptop around campus, you might opt for a desk top since they're lighter on the pockets.

Snacks
You will surely survive with off of a meal plan but it doesn't hurt to stock up on snacks when you don't feel like leaving your dorm room. Bottled water, pop corn, cereal and Ramen noodles are all low budget snacks to stock up on. Just be weary of the freshman 15.

Things from home
Some college students suffer from homesickness the first year. It's best to surround yourself with things like photos of the family, pillows or even stuffed animals. Anything that reminds your child of home.

MP3 Player
With all the stress that comes from school and exams, sometimes it's nice to block out the chaos in your life and even your roommate with music. It's nearly impossible to find students walking to class who aren't jamming to tunes.

Budget
Students who enter college often come in at the ripening age of 18. A great time for credit cards. Parents beware, your child may end up ruining their credit at a young age

Alarm Clock
When you're in college you don't have the luxury of getting awaken by your parents. It's now your responsibility to get to class on time so alarm clocks are a must. But keep your roommate in mind. You shouldn't wake him up ever morning with a blow horn alarm.

Cleaning supplies
Now you don't necessarily need to bring in the rubber gloves, mop and gas mask but it doesn't hurt to bring along Clorox all purpose wipes for spills or dust. Vacuums and brooms come in handy too depending if you have a carpeted dorm.

Bedding
What most parents aren't aware of is that most college beds are twin sized but extra long and require special sheets. When shopping keep your eye open for sheets that clearly state 'extra long' or else your child may come up short.

Shower shoes
You really don't know what some people do in the shower these days. College showers are known to be creeping with germs so spare yourself the fungus and purchase flip flops for the shower. You'll thank us later!

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Filed under: Weddings, Marriage

While on a family vacation with Tom and Suri, Katie Holmes hit the beach near Rio de Janeiro in this blue one piece.

bauergriffinonline.com

Rihanna hits the stage at the NFL Pepsi Smash Super Bowl Concert in a pair of knee-high black boots. What do you think about the pop singer's look?

Kevin C. Cox, Getty Images for NFL

Mischa Barton wore this Elie Saab couture mint green gown to the Fashion Dinner for Aids at the Pavillon d'Armenonville. Is Mischa's look a hit or miss?

Eric Ryan, Getty Images

Heroes star Hayden Panettiere arrives at the NBC Universal Pre-Super Bowl event at Portofino in a black tuxedo jacket and dress with a plunging neckline. Is the Hollywood starlet hot or not?

Gerardo Mora, Getty Images

Diane Kruger wore Nina Ricci for the Fashion Dinner for Aids at the Pavillon d'Armenonville. Is her dress a mess or amazing?

Eric Ryan, Getty Images

Kim Kardashian opted for this floral strapless Tracey Reese dress for the 2009 Moves Magazine Super Bowl Party at The Venue Club. Let us know what you think about Kim's look.

Tim Boyles, Getty Images

Burlesque beauty Dita Von Teese wore an ice blue Elie Saab (left) satin dress at the Fashion Dinner for Aids at the Pavillon d'Armenonville.

Dominique Charriau, WireImage

Spanish actress Penelope Cruz appeared at the the 2009 Goya Cinema Awards in Madrid in this black lace Chanel gown. Is it a win or a loss?

Carlos Alvarez, Getty Images

Amy Adams wore a Jasmine di Milo gold and silver sequin backless dress and Christian Louboutin heels to the 61st Annual Directors Guild of America Awards.

Frazer Harrison, Getty Images

Being thousands of miles away didn't stop Meryl Streep from celebrating the inauguration. The actress wore this Catherine Malandrino flag dress to the Paris premiere of Doubt.

Julien Hekimian, WireImage

• Plan ahead: Finding a dress isn't the first thing to do on a wedding timeline, but it's still good to start looking sooner rather than later. Depending on where you purchase your dress, it could take several months to come into the store. After that, you have to take into account the time it will take to complete alterations. Experts say you should try to pick out a dress a good six to nine months before the wedding. Of course, some people don't even have six months to plan their weddings, so that's not a hard and fast rule. There are plenty of opportunities for a bride-to-be to buy a dress off the rack, but if you have the time you should explore all of your bridal gown options.

• Don't go to high end stores first: I made this mistake. I tried on dresses at a higher-end bridal store before going to a store with lower-priced dresses. The dresses at the more expensive store were made of materials that were higher quality, and the designs were more intricate. This spoiled me for the dresses at the more affordable store, even though some of them were gorgeous and much more wallet friendly. I think if I had started out looking at less expensively-made dresses, I would have been more receptive to them.

• Trust your salesperson: I walked into the store with a list of specific dresses I wanted to try on, and I really wasn't trying to hear her suggestions. I know my taste, I know my body type and I knew what I wanted. If she hadn't insisted that I try on this one dress that she thought would be perfect for me, I would still be out there looking. I thought I knew what was best, but she actually knew better. Trust in your salesperson's expertise -- she knows what she's doing.

• Don't try on dresses that are outside of your budget: I broke this rule, but thanks to a handy trunk sale it all worked out. Still, you should make it a general policy not to try on a dress that you can't afford. You'll fall in love with something you can't have, and nothing else will measure up. Avoid dresses that are outside of your price range and you'll save yourself a lot of frustration.

• Don't be afraid to buy used: I didn't go this route, but I was definitely giving it some thought. In these tough economic times, more and more brides are turning to eBay or sites like OnceWed.com and PreownedWeddingDresses.com to find gently-used designer gowns at slashed prices. These sites are also something to consider if you do fall in love with a Vera Wang and you have a David's Bridal budget. After your wedding, you can sell the dress to recoup some of your losses.

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Filed under: Dating, Relationships, Luv Coach, Infidelity, Sex

Why is it that when I have sex with my boyfriend who I have been with for 7 years, all I think about right in that moment are the times when he cheated on me? Will it ever stop?

Monique T.

It's natural for feelings of hurt to resurface even after you have done the work to move past the betrayal. Lingering on these feelings will only get in the way of healing your relationship and letting go is a crucial part of recovery. The key to getting past the hurt is to focus on the vision of a positive future for the two of you as a couple. This is your time to dream big and envision your partner as the man you want him to be. You need to commit to making sure that the hurt and anger will not rule your thoughts and choices. This is not always easy, but it will allow you to focus on what is positive about your relationship. During sex you may want to choose a new fantasy to keep your mind occupied and in the right place. It will take time and work but if you to retrain and refocus your thoughts so that they remain positive you will overcome this obstacle successfully.

My husband cheated on me last year and since I found out we have been working with a relationship coach. We were doing the work to heal our relationship, but then he decided he didn't want to work with a professional anymore. I was having issues trusting him, so I put a tracking device on his car. When I went out of town he went to see both of the women that he had cheated with. I confronted him when I came home and he lied to my face and said he didn't see them. I pressed him until he told the truth, and he said he visited them because he was angry with me and that it was my fault. I told him that he was to never see them again, and he apologized and said that he wouldn't. I went out of town last week again to visit our daughter and when I got home I found that he had gone to visit one of the women. Again he lied to my face and said that he didn't see her. I don't know what to do. He refuses to work with a coach. I am stressed all the time, and I am so angry. I don't know what else to do.

Maggie P. Kansas city, MO 57

It sounds like your husband is behaving as if he no longer wants to be in a monogamous relationship. His actions are telling you that he does not respect your marriage and he is no longer willing to do the work to heal it. This is a selfish choice and it's time to set a clear boundary so that he knows there will be consequences if he chooses to conduct himself in a way that breaks the requirements of your relationship. If he chooses to continue cheating then you need to ask yourself if this the type of relationship you want to stay in. His explanation for cheating was that he was angry with you, therefore he truly believed in his mind that you needed to punished and he was going to be the one to hurt you. This is not a healthy relationship, and he is sending you a clear message. It's time for you to face up to the infidelity and make the choice that will lead you away from someone who continuously hurts you.

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Filed under: Luv Coach, Parenting, Marriage, Love and Money

I've been married for five years. I went to college and didn't finish, and now I have student loans and other bills. My wife doesn't want to stick by me now that we are struggling and we have two children, four and six years old. I have good faith in God but she always tells me praying is not going to do nothing. She is stressing me out to the point of almost wanting to hurt myself but I love my kids. Please help!

Chris F.

Money is one of the major causes of conflict and stress in relationships, and during these difficult economic times, it has become even more prevalent. What most couples find difficult is not that they don't have money, but rather how to reasonably spend the money they do have. The allocation of funds becomes a battle of values and priorities. I want both you and your wife to make separate lists of your bills in order of importance to each person. Compare these lists and see where each of your priorities lie. Pick the top three bills from each list and make sure that they are the ones that get paid first. If any of your bill choices overlap then each person must add one new one to the pot. Have a brief discussion as to why these are the most important bills that need to be paid, so that you each understand where the other is coming from. As for your student loans, I would recommend that you file a deferment until you are on more solid financial footing. A deferment excuses you from making student loan payments for a set period of time because of a specific condition in your life -- such as returning to school, economic hardship, or unemployment. This will give you room to breath and lessen the stress of defaulting on your loan. As for the desire to hurt yourself, it is self destructive behavior that is being used as a means to punish your wife for her behavior and to manipulate the situation so that you do not have to deal with your current reality. You do not need to opt out of life because there is always a healthy solution to your problems. The key is to be aware of all your options, and the best way to do that is to reach out to those around you and ask for support and help.

I know I can't blame my wife for everything but she has made married life so very difficult. We have been married for over 15 years and have three kids. For all of the years we have been married the only constant in our marriage is that she won't talk to me. She won't tell me what is on her mind, or what makes her happy or what makes her upset. At times I walk around on egg shells trying not to piss her off or when she is upset trying not to piss her off even more. What makes it so bad is that when she gets upset everybody around her feels as if they have done something wrong when in fact nobody has, it's just her way. I have explained to her that we need to have an open line of communication between us or things are going to fall apart. After so many years of dealing with her this way I let it go and just waited until she was ready to open up. Over the last few years it has become a little harder to deal with, because she can get mad and not talk, and then when she feels like talking again I feel like a dog waiting for its master to give it a treat. I love her so very much but she makes it very difficult to have a good relationship. She refuses to see a counselor. I am tolerant up to a certain point but if this is not going to work out then maybe we need to go our separate ways so she can be happy on her own and I can have peace of mind. I think its wrong that in our own house I have somebody that walks around and won't speak to me.

Marc L.

The first thing you should always be aware of before entering into a relationship with anyone is how you two problem solve together. It sounds like you are in a very sticky situation because you saw the red flag before you got married but you didn't solve the issue then and now it has become the pattern in your marriage. It can be very depressing and isolating living with someone who will not open up to you. The spells of anger and contention leave you walking on egg shells and they create an unhealthy household for your children. Before you throw in the towel I would suggest that you work with a relationship coach on your own, and take your children with you to see a family therapist or counselor. Children are always caught in the middle of their parents relationship and you want to put them first in this situation. Let your wife know that you and your children will be seeing a family therapist together and if she wants to be a part of it, she is welcome to join. This is your opportunity to assess the situation from a new perspective and you may be surprised by what your children have to say about the negative environment they are being exposed to. Take this chance to reach out and get the help you need to come up with new solutions to create a healthy living environment for your whole family.

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Filed under: Natural Hair, Hair Care, Product Reviews

A common complaint among natural haired women of color -- too many products aren't made to suit our needs. From the ingredients to the marketing, often afrobellas can feel excluded from the new hotness debuting on store shelves, displayed prominently on billboards, or splashed all over magazine spreads.

"That stuff is not for me," you might hear a disgruntled bella mumble to herself.

Well, sometimes you might be right. And sometimes, you just may be surprised at the results you get from a product that isn't necessarily targeted to your demographic.

In the name of being a beauty bloggin' guinea pig, I tried out some hair products that I initially assumed were just not for me. And here are my somewhat surprising results!

First stop, Davines. Fancy website, no? Fancy prices, too. The Momo Shampoo and Conditioner are specially formulated for dry, dehydrated hair. Made with milk thistle oil, panthenol, jojoba oil, and rhizoban gum... yeah, I gotta admit. I have no idea what the last thing is either. But the gorgeous girl at the top of this post is from the Davines site, so it made me wanna try it!

Momo moisturizing shampoo and conditioner seemed like the kind of overpriced product I doubted would rock my socks, but surprise surprise -- my hair loved this stuff! The conditioner is amazing and gave fantastic slip for combing through my tangles and knots. Now I have high hopes for other Davines products, like the curl serum, and olive butter nourishing repairing mask. I'll keep you posted if and when I review more of Davines products, but be forewarned, the prices might give you a freakin' heart attack if you're on any kind of budget. If you're a bella who's balling, then definitely check 'em out!

Next up Bumble & Bumble. This is one of those classic seen-in-the-magazine brands that I can honestly out myself as assuming wouldn't do anything for my kind of hair. But I'm happy to report, some of these companies are starting to get it and realize curly heads, natural heads need love too! And we are constantly on the lookout for products that work to soften, tame, and treat our hair like it deserves to be treated. B&B has a whole range of products for curly girls, some of which I L-O-V-E loved. Some not so much. Take for example the Curl Conscious shampoo and conditioner, which smelled good but left my particular texture of curl more frizzy and dry than I'd have liked. Blame it on the a-a-a-alcohol. And the SLS.

But I did really really like the results I got from the <a href="http://www.bumbleandbumble.com/product/spp.tmpl?CATEGORY_ID=CAT57&PRODUCT_ID=174"">Alojoba shampoo -- I think most afrobellas would, actually. It's a light, moisturizing, low lather shampoo with aloe vera gel, jojoba seed oil, cucumber and chamomile. Gentle and healthy. Left my hair very soft and bouncy. At $22, it isn't the cheapest salon-type brand on the market but if you've been seeking the ideal shampoo for a while, give it a whirl.

I've had hit or miss luck with Lush -- after numerous tries, I've decided to abandon hope that the Jungle Conditioner will work for me. I really held out hope that a solid condish would work, but it never melts enough, and just leaves my hair frizzy and clumpy and not cute at all. But I do LOVE the smell and the effect of the Godiva Solid Shampoo. I love the environmental friendliness of Lush, and the easy-portability of this product. No shampoo's easier to travel with. And I'd be hard pressed to suggest a shampoo with more scent than this one. Godiva smells so decadently jasmine-y and delicious, your significant other might want to smell your hair for a while. And that's a good thing! If you've been wanting to try a solid shampoo, give this one a try.

My next Lush adventure will be Curly Wurly shampoo. Coconut, cocoa and avocado butters? Sounds like a match made in afrobella heaven! You know I'll let you know when I know.

Have you tried any new shampoos lately? Any exciting results to share? Digame, chicas!

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Filed under: Hair Care, Product Reviews

Over at my other blog, I write about hair - but also beauty, culture and more.

Over there I do a pretty regular feature called Ask Afrobella. (Well, OK. I haven't posted one in a while and I feel pretty bad about that and will get back on top of it again SOON. PROMISE). Over here on AOL, I'm trying to really stay on top of the reader questions, so -- fingers crossed -- I'll answer your hair questions every two weeks or so. Trying!

Please bear in mind, I ain't no hairdresser. I've been natural for seven years, hair-obsessed for most of my life. I can answer from my experience, from research, and from reaching out to experts. Dear readers, you can send me questions to afrobellaonaol@gmail.com. Relaxed, natural, wigs, weaves, braids, locs - bring em on and I'll try my bestest to answer you.

Without further ado, here's the first batch o' questions.

I read the article on Alicia Keys on how beautiful she looked accepting her humanitarian award and you mentioned Ojon. I've been tempting to try Ojon, but was skeptical about it being good on Black relaxed hair. What Ojon products do you recommend for my hair that's relaxed, colored and sometimes I have dry scalp. Thanks,
Brenda

Hey Brenda,
relaxed or natural it sounds like we've got somewhat similar hair issues -- we both need moisture and suffer from dry scalp issues! For my dry scalp, I do brown sugar conditioner scrubs every two weeks or so. You can learn more about that here. While Ojon Restorative Hair Treatment has been embraced by curly, kinky, natural textured chicks like me, there's no reason it won't work for relaxed hair like yours. Their description indicates, "ideal for all hair types that are dry or damaged." I'd say less is more -- first off, it's $55 a tub, and second, it's a very intense moisturizing treatment. Use sparingly, and this could be the wonder treatment you seek. Other Ojon products you might want to consider are the Shine and Protect Shampoo and Conditioner, and the Leave-In Glossing Cream, which is made expressly to leave blow-dried hair shiny and gorgeous. Best of luck!

On to the next question!

Hi there,
I live in Austin, Texas where the heat climbs to 100-107 degrees easily during the summer. I want to wear my hair naturally but i have several problems.#1 Cur-natural (a combination of curly & natural hair); If I could get it to "cur-ink" (curl & kink) I would be happy but it just won't happen...Basically I want a curly natural that won't be "sucked up" through Texas humidity. What do I do to master a curly natural look...My hair is about shoulder length.
Thanks,
Gwenschen

Gwenschen,
you are speaking directly to my experience! I was born and raised in the hot Caribbean island of Trinidad and lived in Miami for 11 years. Heat can do a number on your hair, and if you're looking for defined curls often you can find yourself fresh outta luck. Frizz, now that's always available. But who wants that?

Unfortunately, not everyone's hair kinks on its own. So you might want to consider some options to assist your hair do what you want it to do. I'm not talking about chemical treatments - not at all. I'm talking about styling methods and products made to combat the opressive oven-like heat you confront every day. Have you tried Miss Jessie's? Their shingling method might deliver the look you're looking for. Recently I heard about the CherryLola method -- it promises to make your roots clump together, thereby ending frizz at the root. But I haven't yet tried it -- check out YouTube to get some ideas of what you might expect. I'd recommend weekly deep conditioning treatments, and adding some new products to your hair arsenal. It might be as simple as finding the right product for your particular texture. I wish you all the best!

Ms. Afro,

I'm a huge fan and have been reading your blog for about a year, ever since I divorced my stylist (liberating!) and starting caring for my own relaxed hair. I do still see a different stylist for my relaxer touch ups about every 8-10 weeks. When I took my hair into my own hands, I automatically decided that I was going to start going longer between touch ups. But while complaining to a friend that I was trying to go 10 weeks, still had 2 weeks to go and my scalp was sore, she asked "why are you trying to go longer between relaxers?". I tried to spout off some facsimile of an explanation, mashing together what I had read on sites geared to black hair care, but even after the conversation was over I found myself asking "yeah, why am I trying so hard to go longer between relaxers?" I figure that the point is to have enough new growth so that the stylist can relax the new hair only and not risk overprocessing the already relaxed hair. However, I always notice that closer to touch-up time, my hair needs more moisture and is prone to breakage. Is the risk of breakage worth it? I'm still not certain. What's a girl to do?

*sigh*

Again, congratulations on the new blog. I'm sure that you'll do as great of a job on BV as you do on Afrobella.

Thanks in advance,
kalanit

Kalanit,
you sound like I did oh... a decade ago. It sounds to me like you're on the brink of making some hair decisions. Your friend started asking the right questions -- why ARE you going longer between relaxers? Are you considering transitioning?

Breakage is a risk during chemical treatments, and I wish there was a more relaxer-affirmative answer I could give you... but then I wouldn't be Afrobella, would I?

My advice to you is, treat your hair with love. Treat it like you would an antique wedding dress or a silk kimono. Invest in products to improve your hair's health. Get a good steam cap and some deep conditioning treatments -- my mom, who has had her share of hair issues and plans to relax until her dying day, currently swears by Moroccan Oil's deep conditioning treatment. I know many relaxed women who adore the Phyto brand of products. If your wallet aches at those suggestions, maybe get some good old fashioned Queen Helene cholesterol. Slather it on once a week or every two weeks. Get some hair vitamins and let me know what's REALLY going on. Put your hair's health first, and don't stop asking yourself those questions. You just might be onto something. Thanks for your kind comments, and keep in touch!

** the painting above is William S. Carter's "Woman Thinking."

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments

Filed under: Weaves & Extensions, Hairstyles, How-To, Celebrity Stylists

Say what you will about Lil Mama (my homegirl Fresh of Crunk and Disorderly does alllll the time) -- the chick knows how to get noticed on the red carpet. When she steps out, it isn't just her lipgloss that's poppin', it's her hair and outfit, too! That certainly was the case at the 2009 BET Awards.

My colleague Angela classified it as a hair don't, but hey -- maybe for some of you the combo of multiple shades and textures, bangs and side ponytail adds up to a do. If so, two snaps, a twist and a kiss to you.

Wanna pull this audacious look off yourself? You're in luck! Celebrity hairdresser Marcia Hamilton created Lil Mama's fresh and distinctive look, and shared her step-by-step tips with us at BV.

Without further ado, here's Marcia!

To copy Lil Mama's red carpet style:

1. Part a heavy fringe from eyebrow to eyebrow.

2. Brush all remaining hair up and to the side, above the left eyebrow.

3. Use a Goody Elastic Band to hold hair and sweep into a side ponytail. Spray hair with David Babaii for WildAid Mise En Plis Light Hold Hairspray to smooth down fly-aways.

4. For extra volume, wrap a human hair weft around the ponytail and secure with a bobby pin.

5. For smooth curls and waves in the ponytail, use H2pro's HC34 3/4&sup2; Ceramic Curling Iron. Taking 1 inch sections, mist with a thermal protection spray like White Sands Liquid Texture Medium Hold and wrap around a closed iron for perfectly polished curls.

6. For a smooth and perfect fringe, use a mini flat iron from root to ends. Spray with David Babaii for WildAid Extra Hold Styling Spray for a long lasting but movable hold. To finish, mist ponytail with a light shine spray to finish the look.

And there you have it. And might I add #7 -- wear with extreme confidence. "Whatchu know 'bout me?"

If you're looking for further hair inspiration, visit www.marciahamilton.com.
For more hair how-to's, stay right here on BV Hair Talk!

Permalink | Email this | Linking Blogs | Comments