For the Record with Karu F. Daniels: Mary J. Blige
Queen of hip-hop soul Mary J. Blige has withstood the test of time since her meteoric rise to fame in 1992. Her battles with domestic violence, drugs and alcoholic have been well documented throughout the media, and threaded through her rap-tinged R&B. Her recent marriage to music executive Kendu Isaacs has enabled her to come full circle, finally finding true love. The Yonkers, N.Y.-bred former bad girl has become a trailblazer in music and fashion, and she has a handful of current music projects -- including a new live concert home video -- to keep her busy in between recording her next musical masterpiece. For the first time in a long while, Mary opens up and lets loose in an interview tackling topics such as personal revelations, the power of prayer and Lil’ Kim’s plastic surgery.
Musically, you are one of the more recognizable artists of the era. What would you say is the key to your success?
The key to my success is putting God first in my life, and just being real and honest with myself; learning how, through prayer, to be real and honest with myself, so I can sleep at night.
I think that we always got those things, being real and honest, from you from the jump.
Right, but you kind of lose yourself in some areas because you have a crowd of yes-men and these people around you that wish they were the artist. So when you come from a place where I come from, Karu – which is a place where everybody’s insecure and nobody loves themselves and nobody loves nobody – when you come from that place you kind of look for people’s approval to make you feel like someone. So you gotta kind of find yourself again once you disperse all of the garbage that’s around you and clean up all of the negative people that surround you. And then you start to look inside and be like, “Gosh, I’m a better person than what I was being and the company I was keeping was making me look crazy.”
When do you take that look inside? When do you snap out of it?
You snap out of it after you get the reality check. And some of the reality checks are like close to death situations where you find out you’ve got an ulcer, or you find out you’re an alcoholic. And it’s hard to admit you are an alcoholic or a drug addict when you have everybody around you that’s saying it’s cool to get drunk and get high all the time, abusing it. Unfortunately, it always has to be something bad to happen.
You’ve been through the ringer of life and risen like the Phoenix. Have you ever thought about doing a memoir?
I’m definitely thinking about it. And I’m praying on it. I’m not ready to give up something so precious to just anyone to just mess it all up and lie about it and tell their own story. I want people to be moved and delivered from alcohol and drugs and stuff, [and] if it happened for me, it can happen for them. So I don’t want to take it and give it to somebody that don’t understand who Mary J. Blige is, never had a Mary J. Blige record, or even read an interview on Mary J. Blige. I want to give it someone that knows Mary J. Blige, that lives Mary J. Blige so they can tell the story properly.
Every time you have an album come out you know there’s always a new revelation. What’s going to be the new revelation for the next album? Give me the scoop, because I don’t want to turn on ‘20/20’ and there’s another Mary J. Blige story that I never knew about!
Well, honey, let me tell you. You really only heard the beginning of what God has allowed me to unleash. People look in my eyes and they see so much deep hurt, because the hurt is that deep. And the only way to spit it up all is through prayer, knowing that a Higher Power loves me more than the people on this earth do. And that’s why I’m able to give up so much. Yes, you will hear more, new stuff that I didn’t even want to ever share. But through the grace of God and Him giving me courage, you spit it all up, and you feel better. And then somebody else feels better. They’re like, “Yo! That happened to you too?” “Yeah. You’re not the only one.”
It’s not going to be like any secret babies or anything right?
Nah, that’s something you don’t play around with. I love, I respect the fact that parents should be parents so much, I would never do that. I have two stepchildren through marriage. That’s brand new. That’s in the press right now, but that’s because I’m married and my husband had kids already.
Whoa, I didn’t even know that! How is married life treating you?
It’s very good, thank you. In this marriage I’m learning how I am. It’s crazy because you really get to see who you are. And then that’s when you got to give it up, you know. I’m speaking for myself right now. It’s not easy. It’s really not easy.
Any regrets? Not about the marriage, but in your life in general?
I really wish that I had finished high school. I really do. I really wish that I had finished high school and went to college and took up classes in accounting and things like this because this business is a crazy, wretched, dog-eat-dog world.
I came to see you the last time you played at Radio City Music Hall, and during your ‘I Can Love You’ performance you played the video-clip of you and Lil’ Kim. It just brought back feelings of euphoria for me, seeing you two together on that screen. Both of you have changed so much. You’ve changed internally and she’s changed externally.
Yeah, we were having a lot of fun back then.
Now what the hell happened to Lil’ Kim’s face?
I don’t know. That’s my baby still. I love her to death. I see Kim’s heart when I see Kim. Whatever she did, that’s what she did and that’s what’s going on with her. But that’s my girl. I love Kim. Kim’s got a good heart and Kim’s going to come through whatever it is she’s dealing with. And you just gotta have the right people around you because people can gas you into thinking that you… or have you so insecure you’ll be thinking that you ain’t nothing or you gotta look like this and you’ll be running trying to go get your whole body chopped up to look like another person.
Have you been in touch with her since the indictment?
Yeah. I spoke to her right when it was going on. I called her and I was like, “I love you. I love you, Kim. No matter what. I’m here.” And she said, “I love you too, Ma.” That’s my heart. That’s my baby.
It’s important to have that camaraderie continue. Have you ever thought about plastic surgery?
No, I haven’t. I just know I got to train really, really hard because I don’t want any rumors circulating out there about me. People find out things too easy, so I say let me just train really, really hard. And I have a great trainer. I ain’t messin’ with my face. I ain’t messin’ with nothin’. I like me.
October 21, 2004