African American Welcome Forum > BV Welcome Forum > IS IT OKAY FOR MARRIED PEOPLE TO FLIRT? Message Boards, Chats and Profiles

abdurrahimk
To : All

Date: 09/25/2008 04:30:09 PM
Total Posts: 3825 Msg 27987.1

First Post in this Discussion

Is it OK for married people to flirt?

If Yes, why?

If No, Why Not?

Personally,in my opinion, I think they should not.

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captivewildwoman
To : abdurrahimk

Date: 09/25/2008 05:27:31 PM
Total Posts: 131 Msg 27987.3

in Reply To : Is it OK for married people to flirt? If Yes, why? If No, Why Not? Personally,in my opinion, I think they should not.

As long as it's light and funny, there's nothing wrong with flirting IMHO. But then, I'm a natural-born flirt, so I'm biased. LOL. One can flirt simply to make another person's day, acknowledge their attractiveness, or have a bit of lighthearted fun during work hours. Nothing serious, of course. People take everything so darn seriously these days!

Being married doesn't equate to being neutered or dead. I personally think that a lot of marriages end up in a state of detente because of unrealistic expectations such as your spouse wearing blinders to the opposite gender. It's unnatural. As long as they aren't openly gaping or flirting with someone in your presence, why even sweat it?

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abdurrahimk
To : captivewildwoman

Date: 09/26/2008 07:02:16 AM
Total Posts: 3825 Msg 27987.4

in Reply To :

I think we all are natural flirts, men and women, but especially women. However, a married person has a deeper committment to a personal relationship with another that prohibits behavior which tends to be, or can be interpreted to be, disrespectful towards that committed relationship by the party committed to. Than one needs to also keep in mind that though we may not be responsible for someone else's interpretation of our playful flirtations, we must have consideraration for that person's feelings, however wrong they may be. Some people are more inclined to seriousness than others. What you may consider playful flirtation, others might consider the real thing. Personally, I dont think that playing with someone's feelings is a good thing, and in the long run can cause animosity between four persons, the one flirting, the one being flirted with and the spouses of both parties. I think that LOOKING and FLIRTING are separate entities, and although it may be okay to look, it is not perfectly ok to actively engage in flirtatious looks or conversations. However, that is just my opinion.

Edited by abdurrahimk on September 26, 2008 07:06:12 AM

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divinity44
To : abdurrahimk

Date: 09/26/2008 09:24:55 AM
Total Posts: 33 Msg 27987.6

in Reply To : Is it OK for married people to flirt? If Yes, why? If No, Why Not? Personally,in my opinion, I think they should not.

I am a natural flirt. At least that is what most of my friends say. So my opinion may be a tad bit one-sided.

I think it is okay to flirt a little. A smile here or there. However, the lines between what is acceptable and what is not can be so easily crossed - that at times its best to not even approach them if you are not aware of what you are doing. Also there is the point that the person you are flirting with actually calls your bluff - then what? I've been caught in both those situations and at best - its difficult to escape the fallout. So even though I am a natural flirt - when married I really tried not to. I was not always successful.

Namaste

IF YOU’RE OUT THERE YOU'RE VULNERABLE. PEOPLE PREFER TO DISAPPEAR IN LIFE, TO REPRESS THEIR PERSONALITY. THAT'S NOT LIVING. IT'S DYING. I SEE THEM ALL OVER THE PLACE, THE WALKING DEAD.

- Grace Jones

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rsantanaoftroy
To : captivewildwoman

Date: 09/26/2008 09:53:00 AM
Total Posts: 848 Msg 27987.7

in Reply To : As long as it's light and funny, there's nothing wrong with flirting IMHO. But then, I'm a natural-born flirt, so I'm biased. LOL. One can flirt simply to make another person's day, acknowledge their attractiveness, or have a bit of lighthearted...

As long as it's light and funny, there's nothing wrong with flirting IMHO. But then, I'm a natural-born flirt, so I'm biased. LOL. One can flirt simply to make another person's day, acknowledge their attractiveness, or have a bit of lighthearted fun

I agree. I'm not married, but I'm in a committed relationship, and I see nothing wrong. It's just fun.

...Nothing serious, of course. People take everything so darn seriously these days!

Amen!

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lauren2bacall
To : abdurrahimk

Date: 09/26/2008 12:56:17 PM
Total Posts: 1415 Msg 27987.8

in Reply To : Is it OK for married people to flirt? If Yes, why? If No, Why Not? Personally,in my opinion, I think they should not.

They do it all the time.

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lauren2bacall
To : amareddasour16

Date: 09/26/2008 12:58:01 PM
Total Posts: 1415 Msg 27987.9

in Reply To : In my opinion usually when one flirts it is because they have some type of interest in that person, so I will have to say no. Most of the time flirting will eventually lead up to one thing especially when already involved or married.

The person doing the flirting expects that.

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kawgirl600
To : abdurrahimk

Date: 09/26/2008 01:46:59 PM
Total Posts: 1 Msg 27987.10

in Reply To :

I can see where flirting can lead to other things. But if this is the case this is not flirting. This is someone with a hidden agenda, a plan or unhappy in their marriage. I love to flirt and I am married I have been with my husband for 20 year and have only been with him. At the end of the day this is the man I choose to spend my life with. But I flirt because, as a married women you like to know that you are still appealling to other men.

Edited by kawgirl600 on September 26, 2008 01:48:38 PM

Edited by kawgirl600 on September 26, 2008 01:57:23 PM

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captivewildwoman
To : abdurrahimk

Date: 09/26/2008 01:47:13 PM
Total Posts: 131 Msg 27987.11

in Reply To : I think we all are natural flirts, men and women, but especially women. However, a married person has a deeper committment to a personal relationship with another that prohibits behavior which tends to be, or can be interpreted to be, disrespectfu...

I can honestly say that not all people are natural flirts. I know quite a few that wouldn't know how to flirt if their life depended on it!

As for marriage prohibiting certain behaviors, that is between the two parties involved. Marriage is basically a business contract; that's what it began as...what might be right for me and my significant other might be anaethma to another couple. The commitment is only as deep as the parties wish to take such. Personally, I am not comfortable with constant companionship and rigid rules - my SO understands that and our relationship works quite well. My EX-husband never understood that about me, hence the eventual end of our bond.

I respect your opinion; this is just my opinion as well!

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captivewildwoman
To : rsantanaoftroy

Date: 09/26/2008 01:57:48 PM
Total Posts: 131 Msg 27987.12

in Reply To : As long as it's light and funny, there's nothing wrong with flirting IMHO. But then, I'm a natural-born flirt, so I'm biased. LOL. One can flirt simply to make another person's day, acknowledge their attractiveness, or have a bit of lighthearted...

LOL...I have always thought that flirting greases the wheels of the world!

I guess I just don't take life in general too seriously - what's the point? We're born, we live, we die - might as well cram all the fun and good times we can into the tiny time we've been allotted!

Have a GREAT weekend, fellow flirtress!

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lifeskills
To : divinity44

Date: 09/26/2008 03:40:30 PM
Total Posts: 197 Unread Msg 27987.13

in Reply To : I am a natural flirt. At least that is what most of my friends say. So my opinion may be a tad bit one-sided. I think it is okay to flirt a little. A smile here or there. However, the lines between what is acceptable and what is not can be so...

YOU ARE WISE

I don't think it's a good idea. And when a women flirts with me as soon as I see the RING I'm turned off.

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rsantanaoftroy
To : captivewildwoman

Date: 09/26/2008 03:45:58 PM
Total Posts: 848 Msg 27987.14

in Reply To : LOL...I have always thought that flirting greases the wheels of the world! I guess I just don't take life in general too seriously - what's the point? We're born, we live, we die - might as well cram all the fun and good times we can into the tiny...

LOL...I have always thought that flirting greases the wheels of the world!

"Greases the wheels of the world" Well put.

I guess I just don't take life in general too seriously - what's the point? We're born, we live, we die - might as well cram all the fun and good times we can into the tiny time we've been allotted!

You are a wise woman.

Have a GREAT weekend, fellow flirtress!

LOL! Thanks, you have a great one too.

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saveurheart
To : abdurrahimk

Date: 09/26/2008 04:53:20 PM
Total Posts: 5537 Msg 27987.15

in Reply To :

No it is not okay to flirt and it goes against the Bible!!!!

Matthew 5:28
But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

Some people said that people take things too serious, well yes it is a serious matter. That is the problem is that people think that rules need to change for the times, but these rules were made for a reason. First it is just innocent flirting (which really isn't ever innocent). Then it's a harmless lunch, then a movie or dinner. Then just a simple embrace, a peck kiss on the cheek, the nexd thing they are leaving their spouse and getting a divorce. All of this from simple innocent flirting.

All of you babies need to be thrown out with the bath water. You same ones who see no harm in this probably see no harm in abortions, same-sex marriage, stem cell research and wearing baggy pants!!!!!!!

This is exactly while the world is going the way it is.

You people who like flirting MAKE ME SICK!

(now if any of you ladies want to chat after your husbands go to bed, just hit me up on private message and give me your email)

Edited by saveurheart on September 26, 2008 04:54:11 PM

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abdurrahimk
To : All

Date: 09/26/2008 08:34:51 PM
Total Posts: 3825 Msg 27987.16

in Reply To :

As Salaamu Alaikum:

So far, excellent answers Pro and Con from ALL. Just goes to show how diverse we are as a people in our understandings and applications. Nothing wrong with diversity. Options are many, and good and bad remains relevant to personal responsibility, and in the effect of personal actions upon our fellow man and self. In circumstances where flirtation is understood by all parties and no harm is done, it can be considered okay, but in circumstances where confusion, distrust and ill harmony, is caused among persons affected, it should be considered wrong.

Edited by abdurrahimk on September 26, 2008 08:42:10 PM

Edited by abdurrahimk on September 26, 2008 08:43:58 PM

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blkbutterffly41
To : captivewildwoman

Date: 09/27/2008 01:01:55 AM
Total Posts: 8207 Msg 27987.17

in Reply To : As long as it's light and funny, there's nothing wrong with flirting IMHO. But then, I'm a natural-born flirt, so I'm biased. LOL. One can flirt simply to make another person's day, acknowledge their attractiveness, or have a bit of lighthearted...

Hey Mrs. Lady

Good to see ya !!!! (((( Hugs ))))

But then, I'm a natural-born flirt, so I'm biased.

And thats the bottom line. Most women are naturally that way.

IMO, It really depends on how you define "flirt".

Have a good week-end.

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blkbutterffly41
To : abdurrahimk

Date: 09/27/2008 01:11:51 AM
Total Posts: 8207 Msg 27987.18

in Reply To : I think we all are natural flirts, men and women, but especially women. However, a married person has a deeper committment to a personal relationship with another that prohibits behavior which tends to be, or can be interpreted to be, disrespectfu...

If you can be so kind, Please define "flirt" ????

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blkbutterffly41
To : divinity44

Date: 09/27/2008 01:24:24 AM
Total Posts: 8207 Unread Msg 27987.19

in Reply To : I am a natural flirt. At least that is what most of my friends say. So my opinion may be a tad bit one-sided. I think it is okay to flirt a little. A smile here or there. However, the lines between what is acceptable and what is not can be so...

Some folks will say smiling is flirting.

It really depends what you actually call flirting.

I smile, all the time, and I know I flirt without even thinking . But its harmless and I will not be concerned about how another takes the flirt because a man has to pursue and I know how to say, I am not interested.

I can't even see a mature husband having a major probem unless his wife does more then flirt. Most mature women won't let silly mis understanding about flirting touch their home.

IMHO: Men flirt to get with a woman, Women flirt just to flirt. Thats why some men have problems with women flirting, They KNOW why they flirt. ** smile**