Ages & Stages
Careers & Money
Cities
- Albany, NY
- Atlanta, GA
- Atlantic City, NJ
- Birmingham, AL
- Boston, MA
- Caribbean Forum
- Charlotte, NC
- Chicago, IL
- Cincinnati, OH
- Cleveland, OH
- Columbia, SC
- Columbus, OH
- Dallas, TX
- Denver, CO
- Detroit, MI
- Hartford, CT
- Houston, TX
- Indianapolis, IN
- Jackson, MS
- Jacksonville, FL
- Kansas City, MO
- Las Vegas, NV
- Los Angeles, CA
- Louisville, KY
- Memphis, TN
- Miami & South FL
- Milwaukee, WI
- Nashville, TN
- New Orleans, LA
- New York City, NY
- Newark, NJ
- Norfolk, VA
- Oklahoma City, OK
- Philadelphia, PA
- Phoenix, AZ
- Pittsburgh, PA
- Portland, OR
- Raleigh, NC
- Richmond, VA
- San Antonio, TX
- San Diego, CA
- San Francisco, CA
- Savannah, GA
- Seattle, WA
- St. Louis, MO
- Tampa & Central, FL
- Tulsa, OK
- Twin Cities, MN
- Washington, DC
- Wichita, KS
Education
Entertainment
Family & Ancestry
Gay & Lesbian
General
Health & Fitness
Hobbies & Interests
Love & Relationships
News & Sports
Spirituality
People Search
|
It's amazing how so many people in this day and age will have sex
without the slightest thought of the possible consequences.
Case in point: A friend of mine got his ex-girl friend
pregnant. I warned him to be careful about the next girl he
messed with even as he questioned my own sex life. He
subsequently got ANOTHER girl pregnant.
This other dude I know boasted about this girl he'd just messed with. When I asked him if he used a condom, he replied "some of the time." That's actually the same thing a female acquaintance of mine said when she discovered that her would-be boyfriend (translation: f**ck-buddy) was sleeping around. Oh, and y'all are going to love this one. Another female friend of mine recently lost her virginity. When I asked if she'd used protection, she claimed she had at first before later admitting that she hadn't used a damn thing. When I warned her that her recklessness could result in an unwanted pregnancy, she replied "If it's meant to be than it's meant to be." Now what's wrong with this picture? Let's just give her the benefit of the doubt and overlook the fact that having kids is no joke and that it's a lifelong committment. What exactly did all of these people that I mentioned fail to take into account? The possibility of getting SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES. Are people simply not educated about this? Or are they so naive to think that something like this couldn't happen to them? I'm not trying to put anybody down but I seriously want to know why it is that people risk their lives so carelessly. Do people really think that the only possible consequence of unprotected sex is pregnancy? IS IT REALLY SO HARD TO USE A CONDOM??? |
|
Good morning Taye :)smile! Very good thread(applause)! This is a subjected that needs to be constantly talked about in so many ways. First let me answer the question, that you pose. No! Using condoms is not hard what so ever! In reading your post and your friends that used unprotected sex, I see so many things wrong with it. 1. Lack of respect for one another 2. Lack of respect for life 3. Lack of respect for there bodies 4. Don't care attitude 5. Lack of respect for Marriage 6. The fact that Desease doesn't seem to cross there minds 6. The fact pregnancy doesn't cross there minds. Just lack of respect in so many ways! Why do they do it? From a woman's point of view on some women, it could be Fear of losing the person, Wanting to hold on to them, Wanting to please the individual, losing themselves in the individual, Afraid to say no, fearing he won't understand her feelings, Fear of being alone, lack of respect for herself, and other things as well, depending on the person. I can't speak for a man, but I can say, a man will only go as far as a woman let's him go. The man must have respect for himself as well, if he goes around just sleeping with every woman he feels he can score, his chances of getting a desease is high and mulitiple babies will occur. So, it's not about how many you score, it's about respecting his body as well. Evidently, with him continually doing so, no one will ever take him seriously, and he will not find a good woman, but will always find himself with one's that only want one night stands, and after a while they will get tired. Again, good post, and it is about talking responsibility for one's action on both sides. Take care :)smile |
|
I don't get it either. We just talked to our 14 year old son on this subject over the summer and I told him, DO NOT fall for any BS lines from girls about being on the pill, or that condoms don't "feel" right, etc. Hell, someone told me a few years back that some guy said he couldn't use one because he was allergic to latex! I told him to always carry his own, and don't accept one from anyone else. And yes, we provided him with his very own box! He is not sexually active, but I cannot be around every waking minute to stop him from doing anything. He also understands our position about waiting for sex. But in the off chance he does not listen... I want him protected from STDs and unwanted pregnancy. Good topic to get started, and by the way, nice touch giving both examples of men and women behaving irresponsibly.
|
|
You're a good mom to look after your son in this way and I applaud
you. I would encourage any parent to do the same. I just
have one question being that you are a woman? Why do some girls
lie about being on the pill? Do the ones that avoid condoms
because "they don't feel right" really believe that
justification. I remember this one woman told me that she was
allergic to condoms. Needless to say, I did NOT have sex with her.
|
|
I really can't speak to why any one does anything, but the one chick I remember doing this was in HS with me (many moons ago -lol) and she and her boy had been together for the whole four years, and she wanted to get married and just knew if she got pregnant he would marry her. Don't know the outcome of that as I was not "hanging" with her, and knew her through other friends. I remember telling someone how stupid I thought that was, as there was no guarantee he would marry her.
|
|
I really can't speak to why any one does anything, but the one chick I remember doing this was in HS with me (many moons ago -lol) and she and her boy had been together for the whole four years, and she wanted to get married and just knew if she got pregnant he would marry her. this one the old, catch and go is really old school. the trap was set, and down the whole you went. literally. during my high school days that ploy was all the time. my advice to young men, wrap yourself up at all costs. the std rate, the aids rate is devastating. and the 18-25 year olds right here in DC are droping like flys. young ladies, keep your legs crossed and make sure that young man wraps it up. i know this won't prevent forest fires, but at least you know you will be safe. death is certain, but why come up short? wrap it up long, i always say lebratt. or your going to cut yourself short.
Chick |
|
Hi very good topic i have three sons 19,18,and 16. The 18 year old carries condoms the 19 yr old i have to stay after on it but he's getting better. The 16yr old learned the hard way that STD'S is nothing to play with. My town has the largest STD's rate among teenagers. when i listen to my sons and their friends talk about girls i'm shocked that so many girls are willing to give it up and use no protection. I've been thinking about my 3yr old daughter will one day need to use protection. I thought it would be easy to just put her on the pill, but now with breast cancer in my family i'll just have to educate her and hope i can convience her to wait for marriage, and take her to planned parenthood for birth control options and carry those condoms to. Tiny
|
|
You have raised a very valid point... I have had 2 friends within the last month that thought they were pregnant and by men that they were already having major issues with... I say all the time "When it comes to sex, a baby is the least of your worries... Folks are out here catchin' stuff that they will never get rid of..." It's not hard to use a condom at all and in the heat of passion it doesn't interfere with the moment. And there aren't that many who are allergic. Folks need to stop with the excuses and just go ahead and strap up.  ...C.M.I. Second Lieutenant LadySteele26* A.K.A Lady Isis |
|
I think it's about education. Unfortunately, certain conservatives with a lot of money behind them fight like demons to keep young people from being sexually educated. This combined with the fact that sex is thrown at peeps a zillon times a day makes for some serious problems. Many young people do not have hope. They feel their is no future. In addition to this, they also think they are invunerable. That nothing really bad can happen to them. DamienStarr Blackman
|
|
So true Damien, no hope of bright future is only thing some see. One word: IGNORANCE, it's more contagious than a cold. Many of these young people don't know any better; one of the many reasons is because they have no proper guidance or influences. Peer pressure doesn't help either. Nowadays people, not only the young, treat their bodies like tissues. You only got one, better take care of it. How about this one, dare I ask: Is Abstinence so hard?
"I try to do the right thing with money. Save a dollar here and there, clip some coupons. Buy ten gold chains instead of 20. Four summer homes instead of eight. " |
|
As a parent with both myself, we found it easier to talk to our son. With our daughter growing up, I feel I need to tell her the same way, we told our son. Here's my thing, and I don't care how people cut it.... it's very different talking to boys than girls on this subject, and it shouldn't be. I have thought about the pill, the norplant, iud's, etc. But man, they do more harm than good. But just like I don't want my son being a daddy at a young age, I don't want my daughter being a mother at a young age either. Tough call, your baby is 3 mine is 9, and got to come up with something in the "near" furture, I know. Wish more parents were up front and honest, this IS truly something we need to be discussing/talking about.
|
|
Hello hope all is well with you and your family. Yes it was easy with my 3 boys who are now young men. My baby boy whose 16 got an std, and i was surprised he came to me and told when he got symptoms. He and i had to talk real serious about his actions but i didn't get angry, which blew him away. I've talked with girls and young women about sex and found they need to be talked to and given information the most. You just talk to them and even take them to planned parenthood or to the doctor to get information, and talk with them about it. Your baby is at the age where in a few years she'll get her period so you can start there. I was a teen mom so i think that made it easier on the boys not wanting to be fathers this early, that and one nite i left baby girl with them all nite and let me tell ya that was an eye opener for them. Even now LOL they say she's still a handful. Tiny
|
|
My partner and I have talked to our son (11) about condoms. The conversation and questions from him came up one night while the family was watching television and Trojan Man commercial came on. After it went off he asked us what was a trojan. So we sat down with him and explained what it was and what it was used for. We also explained to him that we do not want him out there having sex before he is married. And that was that for the moment. You only give children as much information as they ask for because believe me once their curiosity gets the best of them they will be back with more advanced questions.
|
|
The fact that your son came to you like that is a great compliment and credit to you and how he has been raised. That's what I am hoping to achieve with my son and daughter. Open communication and dialogue. When my kids were little, my friends had teenagers, and it always floored me how much stuff was NOT talked about. I knew that I wanted it different for me and my kids. I have had the talk with my 9 year old as she had the health class last year in 4th grade. (She's a year ahead in school, which makes it harder for me, as her peers are already going through things, and I constantly wrestle with what's age appropriate). I didn't sit her down and drill her, but answered the questions she had, and told her that it was all a part of growing up. Haven't gotten their yet on contraception and STD protection, but am busy crafting my plan on that too. Thanks for the feedback! Great topic, hope this thread continues, and gives people some insight on how to approach this topic.
|
|
Have you ran across anyone who has the problem of reaching a orgasm with one(the male) as i d can not reach one wearing it and it makes sex suck....it's not in my head either as someone once told me...i have had this trouble for years and it stopped me from having sex a lot of occassions because i can't enjoy it...and not ready to take the consequences of unprotected sex with someone i haven't know for a good time....so using condoms isn't all what it's cracked up to be....for me.
Lobo Black |
Requesting Removal of Inappropriate Content
If you feel a post violates our Terms Of Service and would like to request its removal, please submit the following information.
E-mail message to a friend
To:
- CLOSE
Mail Sent Successfully
Report Sent Successfully
You must sign in first.
Click here to enter your user name and password.
BV on Facebook
Did you know Black Voices is on Facebook and we update daily with new stories and message board discussions?
Friend Black Voices
Most Recent Posters
-
1 Hr
-
9 Hrs
-
13 Hrs
-
2 days
-
2 days
-
2 days
