Im not.

We depend on each other.

But the notion of a man taking care of us, is seemingly outdated.

First of all quit SPENDING up everything you make. SAVE that money.

I love my husband, but you best believe if he leaves, if I leave, or if he DIES Im straight.

Ladies have your own stuff.  Get a copy of your credit report and aim for a score of 700 or better. SAVE SAVE SAVE SAVE! 

Get at least one piece of property in your name. Do it before you get married.

Have a 'yours..mine..and ours'  bank accounts.

Limit the amount of debt you accumulate.

We live longer than they do, so we have to be diligent about financial planning.

Save for education, real estate and retirement and investments.

SAVE SAVE SAVE....

Its nice to have a man to depend on if I need him and I make a biiiiiiiiiiiiiig deal about it when he does

I make sure I tell him and show him how much I appreciate having his help and go on and on an on about it to make him feel good about whaaaaaaaaaatever he does. Most times he offers, I never have to ask. And SOMETIMES  I decline the offer. But not very often because most men like to 'rescue' a woman or feel that he is.

A man needs to feel good about himself when he interacts with a woman. And I will make him feel like he just hit the LOTTERY.

(But I know damn well I dont need him to rescue me, nor to live. I would never TELL him anything but the most sincere appreciation.  But a sister is straight with or without him.)

I recently allowed my man to bare responsibility for me, we are engaged and have had talks about what is going to happen upon me ever becoming pregnant.

Well I can tell you, he makes a nice amount of money BUT he have a condo, he has a car, we have cellphones, wireless linternet services, and so forth, we have SERIOUS bills. Although he held us down, he had to put in extra hours at work to be sure that there would be ample money left over after bills for us to enjoy on things like going on, remodeling, gifts and such. I accepted a job offer matching what he makes and I can tell you, there was a HUGE difference in our lives. Working extra hours add stress but he has assured me that he'd do it to take care of his family (which is as of now just he and I) he replied your family is here to take care of him as well. Its 50/50. I can say my dependency on him is a 5, and his dependency on me is a 5.

We are each other's best friends and a breakup or post marriage, a divorce would take a serious toll on both of us. He is my Mr. Everything, I can honestly say he spoils me but I can attest to spoiling him as well. Though I equally financially contribute to the "pot" I am domesticated, I cook and clean, he fixes and maintains. If I had to go from where we are now to doing it on my own, financially I'd be ok, emotionally I'd be devasted.

Good question my man is very dependent on me financially and i am emotionally dependent on him.

It is very strange.  I try to help him to become stable financially by trying to help him find a better job but he makes up so much excuses.  Then when  i dump for a couple of days he beg me back and i go running back to him like a emotional idiot.  I care for him so much and i think i love him not sure.. i think it is lust though.  Then again i think because i am down in the A all by myself and lonely. 

I think if i was in my hometown or had some females friends i wouldnt care for him. I am trying so hard to break away from these feelings i have.

We are each other's best friends and a breakup or post marriage, a divorce would take a serious toll on both of us. He is my Mr. Everything, I can honestly say he spoils me but I can attest to spoiling him as well. Though I equally financially contribute to the "pot" I am domesticated, I cook and clean, he fixes and maintains. If I had to go from where we are now to doing it on my own, financially I'd be ok, emotionally I'd be devasted.

the key to a woman's heart is her emotions and once a man controls that aspect of her character she's dead meat!  the key to having a successful marriage or relationship is to never completely remove all doubt in a mans mind that he has your heart.  men like challenges. 

 we say otherwise, but in reality appreciate not being sure we have you under our control.  its the element of doubt that keeps us from taking your love for granted.  its a common mistake that most women make in a relationship.  yall simpply give up to much to soon.  its that degree of uncertainty that keeps us in check and from finding solace in another womans arms.  we don't want to risk loosing what we have, if were not sure we have it. 

 women who understand this basic principal and put it into practice generally get the lions share of the good men.  women possessing this level of confidence in themselves, know there is more of that where they came from.  the others inhheret the earth, where the bottom feeders live.

My score is 0, IMHO women should depend on themsleves 100% if they are single.  If you're married that's a different story as the man should be head of the household AND footing the majority of the bills however NO woman should be dependant on a man to do anything for her UNLESS it's her husband.

Also ANY woman who's taking care of an able bodied man should be shot on sight, if those things don't work they shouldn't eat!!!  We'd empower a whole generation of trifiling ass "men" by forcing them to be MEN and work to support their families.

"We'd empower a whole generation of trifiling ass "men" by forcing them to be MEN and work to support their families."

That's pretty much what I'm thinking. But you'd have to adopt some fairly unconstitution, if not downright DRACONIAN practices to effect such, my friend.

And some guys would have to be killed...

Hmmmm...

Am I financially dependent in that if he left I wouldn't be able to take care of myself?...no   However, I wouldn't be able to maintain the same standard of living I have now.  Of course I'd have to go back to work, and while I wouldn't be able to afford to pay our house mortgage, I wouldn't be homeless or living in poverty either. 

As far as finances, we have a joint account and then he has his play account and I have mine.  So far it's worked well for us.  I couldn't see being married to a man that I didn't trust sharing finances with, so that's never been an issue for me.

As far as being emotionally dependent...I'd be upset if we were to separate or divorce, but I wouldn't be slitting my wrists.  I'm sure that in time I'd get over it and move on. 

I don't think it's possible to be married to someone and not be dependant on one another to a certain degree.  If I didn't need him for anything and he didn't need me...then what was the point of joining our lives in the first place?

I agree, fear is an issue.

However, fear should motivate people to make better decisions in whom they marry, not deter them from marriage altogether.