I recently married a black Colombian woman.  Her first reaction upon observing so many big (Gorda to her) black women was to ask me why most of the black women here are too big.  All I could tell her was that it was the diet they subsisted on.  You can say what you want but big is not beautiful.  A few extra pounds is normal, especially with age; but a woman who is 5-4 and 160 pounds or more is not normal, healthy, or pretty to most men.  Trying to force men to accept this as attractive is useless.  I don't like skinny women and I like a woman to have a butt.  I just don't like a woman who has a gut hanging out, extra chins, fat hanging in rolls or hughe thighs.  Women may not like it but very few men want a serious relationship with an overweight woman. 

After living in colombia for a year I could honestly tell you that most colombian women are big. However, I'm a African American woman who is a plus size, I love my size. I exercise and I eat healthy. I think size is a issue when your obese, but to say that most men doesn't find being <big>, pretty is BS. A lot of men do want a serious relationship with a overweight woman, and I can prove it. My mom is overweight and guess what, she's been married for 30 years and had 4 wonderful children. I have a host of family members and friends who were lucky to reach the same milestone my parents met this september. I THINK EVERY MAN HAS HIS PREFERENCE AS TO WHO HE DATES, SOME MEN LIKE BBW, SOME MEN LIKE SKINNY OR PETITE WOMEN. In my family women range from extremely skinny to extremely big and they all are in serious relationships. My grandma was a plus size woman who was married for 52 years when my grandpa passed away. In closing, congrats on your new marriage and I wish u the best, but not ALL BLACK WOMEN ARE BIG. Im currently engaged to a man who loves me for who I'm and my size (16) figure doesn't bother him.

Thats not just a black thang... I lived in Sacramento, Ca. for 4 years and no matter if it was genetic or over eating, most of the plumpies there were white!  They had the biggest thighs and booties. And who is qualified to decide what the rest of the world should find attractive or sexy. If you really are proud and secure about your own looks, then theres no need to put down someone elses is there?

dfrmhtn, congratulations on your recent nuptials and I do wish you and your wife the best. While I am a woman of size, I don't think that I am "trying to force" anyone to like me (or other women of size)--I just think there needs to be an understanding that just like anyone else who is "normal, healthy, or pretty", I am a human being who should be respected and appreciated as an individual, not as somebody's throwaway.

I am so sorry that big is not beautiful--to you. What you should have said to your wife was that yes, there are black women of size, but there are equally, if not more, women of size in other races, nationalities, and ethnicities, as well. And what a wonderful segue you had for a discussion of the black woman here in the U.S. and some of the issues we deal with and have dealt with in the past that may have a direct (or indirect correlation) to "why there are so many big, black women today." Really? Was "our diet" the only thing you could tell her?

.....Also, to correct your last statement, it should have read: very few men want a serious relationship with ANY woman. Men in general are just as callous and non-committal towards your "normal-sized" woman as they are towards a woman of size. You can ask that of any man.