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moving in(33)

Discussion started on  10/22/2008 06:33:47 PM  by  mccloud159
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  • Date: 10/22/2008 09:02:38 PM
  • Total Posts: 17 Msg 10159.3
in Reply To : hey dee Im 22 yrs old and i was dating someone who was older we dated 8 months before we moved in together and a couple of months later we both got tattoos of our zodiac signs on each other. Around may we started having issues because she started...

Hello,

I understand the feeling you guys have now for each other. Feelings are still strong and hot, 6 months is not a long time for 2 ppl to be together and move in. Sometime it may work out, but I will recommend to wait don’t rush. Enjoy this lovely time you guys have with each other. Cherish it, and take it slow. Patience is a virtue.

 

Shai*

  • Date: 10/22/2008 11:58:56 PM
  • Total Posts: 7392 Msg 10159.4
in Reply To : Hi Everyone: I'm in need of some advice and feed back anyhow my dilemma is that I been with my girlfriend for 6mths and we both love each other but within the 6mths we have broken up a couple of times but our love for each other always made us...

like nike: just do it

tell her u'r not ready, i mean. don't do something u'r not absolutely sure about. i have no doubt that u'll regret it. she's movin way 2 fast. and the surprise tattoo is a bit much. wow. 6 months. and not a solid six months. y'all broke up a few times. wow. so y'all couldn't make it smoothly thru six months and she's positve about forever?! wow. u need to back away slowly. now, u know she's gon b very upset. it will definitely cause a fight. hell y'all might even break up.... again. but it's best that u do it now without having to move all your crap n2 another house.

  • Date: 10/22/2008 11:59:02 PM
  • Total Posts: 80 Msg 10159.5
in Reply To : Hi Everyone: I'm in need of some advice and feed back anyhow my dilemma is that I been with my girlfriend for 6mths and we both love each other but within the 6mths we have broken up a couple of times but our love for each other always made us...

Bottom line; if you love each other now, you'll love each other even more in a year so why not wait? I've never regretted taking things slow, but often regret moving quickly in a relationship. My suggestion on how to approach it is to tell her that you love her and want to be with her for a long time but you think that moving in now might spoil things in the long run because you're still getting to know each other. Make sure you keep reassuring her that you love her & tell her that you just want to build a strong foundation for your future relationship together.

If she insists then that's not a good sign, she may be insecure & feel like she needs to hurry up & 'lock you down' before you change your mind. Her insecurities would then show up in other areas of your life together & won't be pretty.

  • Date: 10/23/2008 12:01:22 AM
  • Total Posts: 7392 Msg 10159.6
in Reply To : hey dee Im 22 yrs old and i was dating someone who was older we dated 8 months before we moved in together and a couple of months later we both got tattoos of our zodiac signs on each other. Around may we started having issues because she started...
i  honestly don't understand doin something as permanent as getting a tattoo when u'r still counting your relationship in months. how come lesbians don't wait to at least see their mate thru all four seasons before making such serious committments?
  • Date: 10/23/2008 03:51:12 PM
  • Total Posts: 114 Msg 10159.7
in Reply To : i honestly don't understand doin something as permanent as getting a tattoo when u'r still counting your relationship in months. how come lesbians don't wait to at least see their mate thru all four seasons before making such serious committments?

...how come lesbians don't wait to at least see their mate...

As lesbians, I must say we move VERY FAST. My partner and I have been together for four years. After dating for ONE MONTH I left my place and moved into her house that she owns. Though there were benefits, I DEFINITELY feel that we rushed things. Before making such drastic decisions, we need to think things thru, especially when there are children involved.  Hind sight being 20/20, I would have waited AT LEAST a year. We didn't give ourselves time to get to know one another. And once you move in with each other, you see alot of things that you may not have seen or agreed with had you not done so. Not everyone, but alot of us act on impulse, being emotional and all.lol  

My partner and I got our tattoos two years into the relationship. Shortly after that, I moved out and into my own place.  The space and time apart has made us stronger.  It just proves to me that you don't have to live together to have a successful relationship.  

 

  • Date: 10/23/2008 04:13:28 PM
  • Total Posts: 114 Msg 10159.8
in Reply To :

Hey, Dee!

For your sake, think the situation thru. It may sound corny, but weigh the pros and cons.  There doesn't seem to be any pressing issues why you two should rush into moving together. Seeing that its only been 6 months, and a couple break ups, moving in may not be the best solution.  If you're not ready to live with her, don't do it. (you don't want to make a decision and then regret it) If your girlfriend insists on moving in, she may have ulterior motives for doing so.

I agree with you that getting a tattoo speaks volumes. But, after 6 months, what exactly is she trying to say? There should have been some discussion about such a permanent decision.  Ultimately you have the final say so. But, I feel the first step is to sit her down and discuss that you are apprehensive about moving together and why.  Depending on her reaction, you'll know how to proceed.

Good luck and God bless.

 

Edited by lezblovher on October 23, 2008 04:16:09 PM
  • Date: 10/23/2008 05:34:42 PM
  • Total Posts: 7392 Msg 10159.9
in Reply To : ...how come lesbians don't wait to at least see their mate... As lesbians, I must say we move VERY FAST. My partner and I have been together for four years. After dating for ONE MONTH I left my place and moved into her house that she owns. Though...

hell i waited 4 years b4 moving in with my gyrl. known her for 17! and still woke up with a stranger. LOL honestly you never really know until u get there but, i like 2 play the odds. at least if u wait, u'll have more evidence of what u may b getting n2. at least u'll have statistics on your side as to how someone behaves. but in the first few months of a relationship, u'r lookin at a chick thru rose colour glasses. everything is gon b peachy when u'r in the honeymoon stage.

but yeah, womyn are some overly emotional creatures. and many need 2 learn how not to make life changing decisions while high on love.

  • Date: 10/23/2008 05:39:21 PM
  • Total Posts: 7392 Msg 10159.10
in Reply To : Hey, Dee! For your sake, think the situation thru. It may sound corny, but weigh the pros and cons. There doesn't seem to be any pressing issues why you two should rush into moving together. Seeing that its only been 6 months, and a couple break...
they broke up twice in 6 months. that's what speaks volumes not the tattoo. if folks can't hold a relationship together in 6 months how r they gon tackle the seriousness of sharing their whole life? i mean sounds like the first sign of trouble and people walkin away instead of stickin it out and workin thru it. that's not a good sign of a strong relationship.