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how do you handle this situation? Do you tell your friend your honest opinion or just listen to her problems? My friend calls me on a WEEKLY basis with the latest about her man and what he did and I am left wondering every week...WHY ARE YOU STILL WITH THIS FOOL???? After a while it just get frustrating because you would like to think your friend has common sense. I am just left SMH every week.
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I went through the same thing with a friend of mine about 2 years ago. Her man had cheated on her for a whole year and she found out on New Years Eve when he told her that the other girl didn't want to be alone. She following him and caught them together. When she asked my opionion about the siutation I told her that she should leave him and move on. She took him back in less then a week, without even really confronting the siutation fully. That was her decision, but I told her that I didn't want to hear anything more about their problems if she wanted to stay in an unhealthy relationship with someone who had no type of respect for her. In the end she called me stuck up and told me that I was judging her. We are no longer friends.
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Just listen to your friend's problems until you can't stand it any longer. I learned over the years to never tell your friends about the sorry man they are dealing with! It always comes back to haunt you! Besides they never leave them until they decide to leave them any ways.
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Happy Halloween!
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My girlfriend just found out today that she has HPV, and it's severe on her cervix. She is actually entertaining the thought that it could of been from her past and not from her bf she's been with for four years and has two children with. I am so frustrated for her, but when a man gets into your spirit it is a hard thing to change.
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you can't really tell someone to leave their man....even if they should...lol! You're only option is to tell her you are tired of hearing all these "he done me wrong" stories every week.....or you could say to her, hey....I've got a friend going through something and I want your opinion and then parrot back to her those sad sack stories she's giving you.....maybe she'll see it clearer when she hears the stories abut "someone else".....lol!
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the ONLY thing you can really do is be a real friend and listen to her vent...you can voice your opinion,(but not too often) but ultimatley, it will be her decision..if it gets too frustrating for you, just tell her straight that u are tired of hearing her complain and not do anything about her situation; therefore you would appreciate it if she didn't whine about him to you anymore, esp if she's not going to do anything about it..if you continue to voice your negative opinion about him, she will dump YOU b4 him..sad, but true..next time she brings him up, just change the subject..tell her you and she do not agree on the subject and you don't wanna talk about it anymore..
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My friend has a sorry a** man. SORRY as hell. They have been together for 14 years. I realized about 4 years ago that the only thing that will separate her from him is for one of them to die.She constantly complains and I am also fed up. I don't want to hear it. I could go on and on about the bogus things that he have done, the selfishness of this dude. It amazes me that she is still with him. She does know my feeling about their situation and I have given her advice and she knows that she should leave him but she always rationalizes it in her head that she's familiar with his sh*t. She doesn't want to have to learn a new dude. In other words this dude has her feeling unworthy of a real man. I no longer give my advice even when asked. It's a waste of energy. I listen if she feels like she needs an ear because she is a very good friend of mine. You learn that you have to let people do their thing. Only they know their tolerance for bullsh*t. If she likes it, I love it.
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After a while you pretty much just learn to do nothing but listen. Because even though they come to you with their problems, they don't really want to hear what you have to say... they just want someone who will listen while they try to cope with the situation. And i'm speaking from experience because someone i know has a man she's been with for 3 years, he's cheated on her, has had a baby outside of their relationship, has stopped working, doesn't support her even when he was working... and she's still with him. She complains like a fool but for whatever reason, she's still with him like he has a dick of gold. I don't understand the choices some of us women make when it comes to men but i'm very thankful that God gave me common sense.
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Please don't be fooled. There are a lot of things we still aren't able to pinpoint about HPV-like when it was first contracted. She could possibly have had it for years-even years before she had her children and they just didn't contract it. She could have gotten it from the first sex partner she had if he wasn't a virgin. There is no way to tell if her current boy friend gave it to her. Unless you know he's been unfaithful, the best thing to do is to not make waves.
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I have friends who dont even leave then. They hang around until he decides to come back. I try to empathize from time to time and remember that we've all done our fair share of dumb stuff. Sometimes it hurts to watch them go through the foolishness, at other times its like alright already let's move on. All I can do is pray and hope that they'll get it before something crazy happens. |
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hi this reply comes a little late because some how i don't know how i came to this web site (smile) anyway i've learned in my 46years that you can't help who you love be they sorry or not and most women have that unconditional love until we get down right tried your friend keep talking about her problem because she hope to one day be able to step off but she got to talk the hurt away before she can completely and really be done with him and when she do the ball game will be over until that time be a friend and listen its march 2006 hope she's over it
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