By Rebecca Brody, Certified Empowerment Coach

Q: My girlfriend rushes through sex, and now I think she is faking her orgasms so that I will hurry up and finish. How can I tell a fake orgasm from the real thing?

By Rebecca Brody, Certified Empowerment Coach

Q: I need your advice. I am married and have been for 5 years now. My husband cheated on me one year and two months into our marriage. I said that I forgave him, but truly and deeply inside, I didn't. I think about it all the time and it is driving me crazy. We are in the military and he had to report to his duty station three months before I could join him. He said that he felt as though he was losing his family, because we could not all be there with him when he left and that the female started showing him attention. He told me that he was in love with this girl, which I think was infatuation. We are still together, but I'm not in love with him. He knows how I feel, but is trying for me. What should I do? He is a great father and husband, provides well for our family, but I'm not in love with him. I need some advice from an outside angle. Thanks again for all your help.

Mother's Day is fast approaching, do you know what you're going to get those special women in your life? Well this year Hallmark is making it easy with the release of these cards for just the occasion.

As part of its 50th anniversary celebration, the Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater will be developing 6 African American-based cards for Hallmark just in time for Mother's Day.

By Rebecca Brody, Certified Empowerment Coach

Q: My boyfriend and I have been living with each other for 2 years. For several months I had a medical problem and I didn't have any desire to have sex. Now that I'm well, I have my sex drive back, but every time I try to initiate sex, he stops it. I'm feeling lonely and undersexed, and I've noticed other guys hitting on me. Is it ever okay to cheat?

What happens when a former flashy athlete, his model perfect wife and their five children, live in a hot 40,000-square-foot mansion and have their lives videotaped to find out what happens when black families get real? 'Prime Time' gold.



According to the Hollywood Reporter, Oxygen's 'Deion & Pilar: Prime Time Love' set network records in its premiere airing, becoming the channel's most-watched original series premiere ever. Following the lives of sports star Deion Sanders and his family, the reality show scored big in the desirable demos of women ages 18-34 and 18-49 and men and women 18-49.

The recent movie 'Run Fatboy Run' may be remarkable for the issue it doesn't focus on. Thandie Newton plays a pregnant bride who's jilted at the altar by Simon Pegg and later falls for Hank Azaria. While she's black and her two suitors are white, the story hardly mentions race and focuses on Pegg's need to run a marathon and prove that he can finish something, thereby winning back Newton's heart.

Is it possible that attitudes about interracial relationships have changed so much since the 2006 movie 'Something New,' and certainly since 1967's 'Guess Who's Coming To Dinner' -- both of which were all about familial pressure to not date outside of your race -- that the subject doesn't warrant mention?

When we broached the topic around the AOL offices, we started discussing how tough it can still be to date interracially and focus on attitudes that can doom an interracial relationship.

Our conversation is just the beginning of the discussion, though. Let us know what drama you have to deal with dating outside your race. -- by Jennifer Fields, Ken Gibbs, Neil Gladstone and Alexis Stodghill

TOP 13 WAYS TO DOOM AN INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIP

Being unprepared for how the families will react
Alexis: When I was in the fourth grade, one of my older relatives said to me, 'I hear you have a white boyfriend.' This wasn't a boyfriend, it was just a guy I sat near in class, but my cousin couldn't see that. She asked, 'Are you losing your identity?' And when that kind of thing happens, any kind of joy of bringing someone home to be with your family is somehow tainted.
Ken: Funny thing is that I think white families are more accepting because they view it as a "phase."

Not understanding of the physical and cultural differences of people of different races
Jennifer: If I have to explain over and over why I'm not getting into the ocean to swim because of my hair, over and over, it's like "Enough already, don't you get it?"
Ken: This might seem odd, but here's something that has stuck out to me when I've been dating interracially. With one out of every 10 black men being in jail, or damn close, it's impossible not to be familiar with the prison system and criminal culture, as a black man from a predominantly black working class neighborhood, it's strange to watch "The Wire" and have feelings of nostalgia while your significant other is watching with shock and awe.

Race is just a fetish
Jennifer: It's always a tip-off if he only dates black women.

By Rebecca Brody, Certified Empowerment Coach

Q: How do you balance the love and financial aspect in a relationship? My husband and I know we need to support each other, and we are both working toward the same thing, but there is financial stress and it is affecting the relationship. We are both hardworking individuals, and we love each other, but the financial stress is causing problems. How do we balance love and finance?

By Rebecca Brody, Certified Empowerment Coach

A guy that I have been dating claims that he can't get hard with a condom. What is a polite way to say that I don't have sex without a condom?

When a man tells you that he does not want to use a condom, the message he is sending you is that he does not value his own life, and he certainly does not value yours. We live in an era where STD's are easily spread, but we have the means to protect ourselves. If you care about yourself, you will not put yourself at risk. The best answer is to tell your man that you only have sex with a condom, because you value yourself and you value him, and you want both of you to live a long and healthy life.

When do guys expect girls to start paying for a dinner?

By Alexis Stodghill, BlackVoices.com

Ballers. Players. You see black celebrities on television and on the blogs living a life of luxury -- partying every night, throwing money in the air and drinking bottles of champagne that cost hundreds of dollars. Baller Alert™ is a service designed to help any and all connect with this scene. Sign up, and get text messages with info on the hottest parties with the biggest ballers in your city.

It is no secret that many search out ballers hoping to exchange sex for currency, fame or otherwise, and that many of these people are women. In making this process easier, does Baller Alert™ promote the intense materialism of our culture, and the resulting objectification of women? The creators of Baller Alert™, the companies Lyon Entertainment and Teccworks (whose managers choose to remain anonymous at this time), respond to these ideas and more in our exclusive interview.

By Shawn Johnson, BDO Staff Writer

It seems like we are constantly being pressured into talking about our feelings with our women. When we don't exude the enthusiastic desire to discuss every intricate detail of our minds and our feelings, they get mad at us.

Don't be so shocked ladies, but guys do actually talk, and not just about sports. Most women think their man is the strong, silent type (or maybe the oblivious, silent type), and they wonder why he doesn't share his feelings.

But here's the truth: Men do want to open up, about their hopes, their fears, and their passions. Yet put him alone in a room with you, and he often turns into a sphinx. Why can't he take his eyes off the TV and talk about the state of the relationship, or the finances, or, heck, the backyard landscaping? Why in the world can't he just summarize his day for 10 minutes?

In fact, one in five women say that they typically fight about a man's lack of verbal interaction and 30 percent of men say their failure to communicate is the source of major conflict in the relationship. Why is it this way?

By Rebecca Brody, Certified Empowerment Coach

Weddings are an opportunity to bask in the glory of love's communion, so when my boyfriend invited me to his cousin's wedding, I saw this as a big step in our relationship.

Since I would be meeting his entire family, I felt the need to make an impression. I picked out a gorgeous new dress in shimmering brown satin, paired it with my brown snake skin heels, and gold accessories to match. I would be elegant and chic.

We arrive the evening before and join everyone on the beach for an old fashioned clam bake. The drinks are flowing, as the introductions commence. I plaster on my most dazzling smile as we move from cousin to aunt to brother and so on. Each time my boyfriend leaves, I feel a spark of panic, only to have it subside when some one steps in to make conversation.

The day of the wedding, I am already in a slightly emotional state.

By Rebecca Brody, Certified Empowerment Coach

When my boyfriend suggested we head to Vermont for a snowboarding mini break, I was more than enthused. I take to the ocean like a baby in the womb, so the chance to cultivate a relationship with the snow inspired thoughts of a romantic winter get away.

My boyfriend and I are in the honeymoon phase of dating, so much of the four-hour drive to Smugglers Notch (a name which sends me into a fit of giggles), is spent kissing, touching, and smiling. We arrive in time for a late dinner, and then snuggle up to catch some shut eye. Unable to sleep, I was brimming with excitement. It didn't matter that I had never been snow boarding. I had taken a ski lesson several years ago, and had managed to go from bunny slope to intermediate trail in one day. This would be a breeze.