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Mayor Kilpatrick - If It Weren't for Bad Luck

Posted Aug 7th 2008 4:00PM by Madison J. Gray
Filed under: BlackSpin, Kwame Kilpatrick

I wonder if pundits and commentators had as much fun clowning President Bill Clinton as they do Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick. Thanks to some of the most brilliant political wit since Mark Twain, there was a steady supply of jokes about the Clinton-Lewnski scandal to last through his entire tenure.

Kilpatrick, on the other hand, is staying in so much trouble that we're running out of material and we might have to start taking this thing seriously. God forbid.

Case in point: the order of a Wayne County judge that the mayor be sent to jail as a result of his violation of bond due to a perjury charge, stemming from his whole text messaging scandal. ...

Kwame Kilpatrick Pictures

  • Kwame Kilpatrick Pictures

    ** FILE ** Wayne County prosecutor Kym Worthy addresses the media in her office in Detroit, Friday, Jan. 25, 2008. The investigation into whether Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick and his former top aide committed perjury or other crimes during testimony in a highly publicized whistle-blowers' trial is all part of the job for the Wayne County prosecutor. And she doesn't even consider it the toughest assignment she's had since she's been in the prosecutor's office. (AP Photo/Carlos Osorio, file)

    AP

  • Kwame Kilpatrick Pictures

    Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick addresses the media during a news conference in Detroit, Tuesday, March 18, 2008. A nearly unified City Council voiced its displeasure with Kilpatrick on Tuesday, calling on the scandal-tainted mayor to resign. A resolution, which passed on a 7-1 vote in the early afternoon, was more of a "no-confidence" vote. The council doesn't have the power to force Kilpatrick to step down. (AP Photo/Carlos Osorio)

    AP

  • Kwame Kilpatrick Pictures

    Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick addresses the media during a news conference in Detroit, Tuesday, March 18, 2008. A nearly unified City Council voiced its displeasure with Kilpatrick on Tuesday, calling on the scandal-tainted mayor to resign. A resolution, which passed on a 7-1 vote in the early afternoon, was more of a "no-confidence" vote. The council doesn't have the power to force Kilpatrick to step down. (AP Photo/Carlos Osorio)

    AP

  • Kwame Kilpatrick Pictures

    ** FILE ** Michigan Attorney General Mike Cox speaks during an interview in this April 11, 2005, file photo, in Lansing, Mich. Cox said Wednesday, March 12, 2008, that Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick should resign because he's a liar and a race-baiter "on par with David Duke and George Wallace," and no longer fit for office. (AP Photo/Al Goldis, file)

    AP

  • Kwame Kilpatrick Pictures

    Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick gives his State of the City address in Detroit, Tuesday, March 11, 2008. A prosecutor says she will announce in two weeks whether she will file perjury charges against the mayor and his former top aide. The case stems from a criminal probe of whether Kilpatrick lied under oath when he denied an affair with former Chief of Staff Christine Beatty that was revealed in the text messages. (AP Photo/Carlos Osorio)

    AP

  • Kwame Kilpatrick Pictures

    Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick gives his seventh State of the City address in Detroit, Michigan, March 11, 2008. Embattled Detroit Mayor Kilpatrick on Tuesday said scandals threatening to derail his second term amounted to a "hate-driven, bigoted assault" against him and vowed to stay in office and fight for sweeping investment plans for the city. REUTERS/Rebecca Cook (UNITED STATES)

    Reuters

  • Kwame Kilpatrick Pictures

    Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick points towards his family before the start of his seventh State of the City address in Detroit, Michigan, March 11, 2008. Embattled Detroit Mayor Kilpatrick on Tuesday said scandals threatening to derail his second term amounted to a "hate-driven, bigoted assault" against him and vowed to stay in office and fight for sweeping investment plans for the city. REUTERS/Rebecca Cook (UNITED STATES)

    Reuters

  • Kwame Kilpatrick Pictures

    The parents and sister of Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick, Congresswoman Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick (L), Ayanna (C) and Bernard Kilpatrick stand before the start of Mayor Kilpatrick's State of the City address in Detroit, Michigan, March 11, 2008. Embattled Detroit Mayor Kilpatrick on Tuesday said scandals threatening to derail his second term amounted to a "hate-driven, bigoted assault" against him and vowed to stay in office and fight for sweeping investment plans for the city. REUTERS/Rebecca Cook (UNITED STATES)

    Reuters

  • Kwame Kilpatrick Pictures

    DETROIT - MARCH 11: Detroit Police Chief Ella Bully-Cummings says the Pledge of Alligiance before Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick's State of the City address March 11, 2008 in Detroit, Michigan. Several members of the city council protested the Mayor by sitting in the audience instead of sitting on stage with the Mayor. (Photo by Bill Pugliano/Getty Images)

    Getty Images

  • Kwame Kilpatrick Pictures

    Protestors demonstrate outside of Orchestra Hall where Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick was giving his State of the City address March 11, 2008 in Detroit, Michigan. Four members of the nine-member council declined to take their customary seats onstage with the mayor, who is in the midst of a text-messaging scandal involving charges of sexual misconduct and of perjury related to a whistle-blower lawsuit filed by former police officers against the city. Bill Pugliano/Getty Images/AFP == FOR NEWSPAPERS, INTERNET, TELCOS & TELEVISION USE ONLY == (Photo credit should read BILL PUGLIANO/AFP/Getty Images)

    AFP/Getty Images



To his credit, Kilpatrick's jailing actually is the result of him sticking his neck out for the city. According to the Detroit News, the reason he got locked up is because he had to go to neighboring Windsor, Canada, to work on a deal to sell Detroit's share of the Detroit-Windsor Tunnel. In effect, although he only traveled one mile, that not only means he left the state, but the country as well.

Damn! "If it weren't for bad luck, he wouldn't have no luck at all."

This also means that a surrogate city official Kandia Milton, has to take over city hall; the governor, Jennifer Granholm, who I'm sure would rather be participating in the presidential election on behalf of the Democratic Party, has to deal with a political crisis in her state's largest city; not to mention the city has to deal with a double-digit unemployment rate; a third-world infant mortality rate; hovering high-crime rate; which is exacerbated by a dropout rate of as much as 68 percent; and oh yeah, the industry upon which the entire city depends: autos, collapsing like a thousand dominoes.

Well, here's some good news: the mayor's mom Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick recently narrowly won the local Democratic primary, albeit only by about 1,700 votes. Okay, maybe that's not such good news, but at least she keeps her job in the Congressional Black Caucus -- that's if a Republican challenger doesn't jump up and convince black people in Detroit to vote GOP in November, which at this point I don't think is too far-fetched an idea, they've done it before.

Full disclosure: the reason I'm so hard on Motown is because it's my hometown and I really hate seeing it tank like this. Fifteen years ago, no matter what people said about Detroit, we could give the world a confident middle finger for dissing us. But now, when people talk trash, unfortunately much of it is true. Maybe we should have listened to the constructive criticism, even if it did come from white folks (which I'll admit is hard to do).

But all seriousness aside...

Listen, we at BV have been blogging on this whole Kwame deal for a minute. So if you've been reading us, you know we've tried our best to bring you the straight dope on this whole issue, despite how irreverent or shock-value oriented my writing can be. But for real, help us out. I really am running out of funny stuff to say about this. It's not like we've got Comedy Central's budget.

In fact, if Mr. Paul Mooney, who writes better jokes about black people than anyone else, would like to step in and commence the clowning, we would be much obliged.

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Reader Comments

(Page 1)

1. Kilpatrick will likely be spending the weekend, at least, in jail. Judge Jackson must make at least a preliminary finding (itself error-free) that Judge Giles abused his discretion or committed clear legal error before he could reverse Judge Giles' decision or grant any kind of stay of the Order that revoked Kilpatrick's bond and sent him to jail. Abuse of discretion is a very high threshold not easily reached by criminal appellants especially when, as in this instance, Judge Giles gave Kilpatrick two prior passes while cautioning in the strongest terms that Kilpatrick must conduct himself and his affairs in full conformance with the Court's Orders.

One of the reasons Kilpatrick is in so much trouble right now is fairly clear: he thinks he's above the law. This is just the first of many opportunities he'll have to correct his sadly mistaken mindset that infects so many in the City he claims to "love."

With Carlita and his children in hiding once again and the Mayor securely behind bars, his loyal followers are probably stripping the Manoogian Mansion of its copper as we speak. Just another sad day in a once great American City that has become a shell of its former self and may not ever recover.


Ivy Leeg at 8:56PM on Aug 7th 2008

2. Yes, if it weren't for bad luck ... BREAKING NEWS! It can now be revealed how Channel 7 Investigative Reporter Steve Wilson discovered the unauthorized trip to Windsor, Ontario that resulted in the jailing of Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick for violation of the travel restrictions on his felony bail bond.
Kilpatrick told the Court he was called to Windsor on short notice because his personal presence was required in negotiations to "save the Detroit-Windsor Tunnel deal" and "two-thousand jobs" in the City of Detroit.

As fate would have it, 48 hours after Kilpatrick returned that day the Windsor nightclub stripper with whom Kilpatrick had been "negotiating" turned up on the Detroit side of the tunnel, drunk and demanding to see "Detroit Huggy Bear."

After closer questioning by the U.S. Border Patrol and based on the stripper's physical description of Huggy Bear as "a real big guy who kept asking if I'd seen any Channel 7 TV trucks in the area," the Border Patrol Officer concluded she must be talking about Steve Wilson and gave him a call. The rest, as they say, is history.

Ivy Leeg at 9:06AM on Aug 8th 2008

3. Yes, if it weren't for bad luck ... BREAKING NEWS! It can now be revealed how Channel 7 Investigative Reporter Steve Wilson discovered the unauthorized trip to Windsor, Ontario that resulted in the jailing of Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick for violation of the travel restrictions on his felony bail bond.
Kilpatrick told the Court he was called to Windsor on short notice because his personal presence was required in negotiations to "save the Detroit-Windsor Tunnel deal" and "two-thousand jobs" in the City of Detroit.

As fate would have it, 48 hours after Kilpatrick returned that day the Windsor nightclub stripper with whom Kilpatrick had been "negotiating" turned up on the Detroit side of the tunnel, drunk and demanding to see "Detroit Huggy Bear."

After closer questioning by the U.S. Border Patrol and based on the stripper's physical description of Huggy Bear as "a real big guy who kept asking if I'd seen any Channel 7 TV trucks in the area," the Border Patrol Officer concluded she must be talking about Steve Wilson and gave him a call. The rest, as they say, is history.

Ivy Leeg at 9:12AM on Aug 8th 2008

4. Luck has nothing to do with it. He screwed up, he is a Thug that was elected Mayor. De-troit deserves what they vote for. They knew he had lots of baggage but elected him anyway. He is a liar, cheater and crook. No wonder he was elected

Tired of poor me attitude at 1:07PM on Aug 8th 2008

5. I was born and raised in Detroit, but now live in Florida, retired. About four years ago I returned for a visit, the first in about twenty years. I was astonished to see what had happened to the city I once loved and admired.. It looked like Beirut!

The people of Detroit have got to get rid of the local politicians who are robbing you blind, stealing your tax dollars, and letting the infrastructure of the city go to pot. If you do not rise up and elect people who will honestly serve you, then you will get a continuation of the corruption that you are now receiving.

Robert Berns at 2:18PM on Aug 8th 2008

6. I mean really, come. Seriously, come one. For years and years it has been the same old story, the same old song and dance, as the actions dictate of many Detroiters, regardless of skin color: 1) it is my fault, someone else did it or made me do it; 2) I cannot assume responsibility for these actions; 3) please give me ONE more chance...I promise to not screw up again!...and on and on and on it goes......Hizzzoner is simply another Detroiter...an example of what the city has become; ...a thug....a punk.....a statistic...he had fallen into a "lucky spot" (as a politician, having the gift of gab") but as they say, and you may fill in the blanks here: "once a ******, always a ******....." and that IS the truth....

dave poindexter at 10:21PM on Aug 8th 2008

7. It's funny how people talk about DETROIT, but it will be fine. This is a problem and it will be dealt with but every city goes thru something and we have to keep in mind that the economy plays a part also it's called the MOTOR CITY.
I was just in ORLANDO FLORIDA on business and it doesn't look any better crime is up high there that's all that was in the news.
Wrong move Sir.

lynn at 8:18AM on Aug 9th 2008

8. Well first as a netive Detroiter, I will say to the writer of this article, "What are your suggestions to better the city of which you were born and raised? It is easy to mock and ridicule and so challenging for one to use intellect to find a solution." Yes the city is facing many challenges now, but so is the entire country. Yes Detroiters need to vote for better politicians who have the city's best interest at heart. But we as Americans need to vote for politicians nationwide that have our country's best interest at heart which includes taxing companies that ship American jobs overseas. That is the basis of the problem in Detroit and many cities like it.

DNice at 2:54PM on Aug 9th 2008

9. After living in Detroit 41 years and moving not far from Detroit, when traveling and am asked where I live, I always say I live in Detroit.

In fairness, Kilpatrick did a lot in the state legislature at a very young age and was set aside as a great legislative figure. So much so that he got the support of many white suburban authorities; they were standing on his mother's front porch endorsing this man for Mayor. The only baggage he had when coming into this position was his youth and the credibility of his father who worked for and very closely with Ed McNamara (Eddie Mac) who pimped Detroit near to death as Wayne County Commissioner.

His problem is he got the big head. He thought he was Kwame, the Teflon mayor and nothing he did would stick to him or present any negative consequences. Firing people who should be demoted, and costing the city $9 million it doesn't even have, buying navigators, and using city funds for personal pleasures. He is not an unintelligent person, but the fact that he would even text his woman the things he allegedly (innocent until proven guilty) did is just plain arrogance and quite frankly stupid. DUMB AND STUPID.

As a mayor, he is not behaving like a grown mayor, but a very immature, spoiled going to have it my way little boy, proving what I said when he was endorsed in 2001: He is too young and immature for the responsibility of being mayor of Detroit, period. I had no idea about his inability to keep "homey" home or his insatiable desire to party and his insatiable appetite for women. I had no idea about him and Ms. Beatty. I had no idea about him and Ms. Slowinsky.

Short and sweet: It is time to step down Mr. Mayor. You are no longer in control and your vision is very clouded and skewed. You had an opportunity to man up and you were doing good running things under pressure. But now you are creating emergency meetings that did not exist to go to Canada. The past two-three weeks, you have dropped your drawers and shown your boyhood. And, I find it difficult to cast any shadow of doubt on your post Ivy Leeg, not that you care on way or the other.

In closing, I understand when he became Mayor he asked his father-in-law, what do you think of me now? Kwame, please don't ask him that now because you might get oops upside yo' head.

Catowl102885 at 9:12PM on Aug 9th 2008

10. It seems like the bad black mayors get way too much press. I'm a white former Republican and I tend to think that Harold Washington of Chicago may have been the best mayor the United States has ever had of any color. Harold was a black liberal but what he did transcends race or party. He attacked graft with an honest conviction that I've never seen in practice.

"All it takes for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing."

Harold was a good man who should be celebrated for his accomplishments. I can understand the instinct of black people to rally around one of their own when they feel like he is under attack. It just seems a shame that mayors like Marion Berry and Kilpatrick fill the black press while mayors like Harold Washington are not celebrated.

Michael Long at 2:49PM on Aug 11th 2008

11. Mr. Kilpatrick should do us all a favor and just go home, lock himself behind closed doors and let his attorneys do their jobs and get him the best deal they can for his prison term.

Moneydiva at 2:46PM on Aug 17th 2008

12. This all started with an allegded pary at the Mayor's Mansion where a strpper was assulted by Kwame's wife Carlita. When an investagtion into the party was started the the deputy cheif of police he was fired. Well the deputy cheif filed a Whistleblower's lawsuit and won for $8.4 million. It was during that trial that the mayr and is former chief of staff both perjured themselves on the stand. Not only did they lie about there affair. They lied about having the deputy chief fired.
Now that I have explained the story. It's such an embarassing time for the city.
I was born and raised in Detroit and I supported the Mayor in his first term but I started to see a pattern. A pattern of unaccoutability. So over time I really lost faith and all respect for Kwame and his mother Congress woman Carolyn Cheeks Kilpatrick. As his mother it seems that she has ok'd all of his wrong doings as a child and he thought that he could continue that as an adult. Example, my son broke the neighhbor's window throwing rocks. Was he supposed to be throwing rocks? No. I did not tell him it was ok and let him continue to throw rocks. He had to go to the neighbbor, apologize and pay for the window. Not only that He was on punishment for 3 months. I held him accountable for his actions. The City of Detroit needs to hold him accountable for his actions and yes he should be punished. We should not continue to make excuses for him and support his arrogant behavior and say that it's ok. It was not about the sex. I am not sure why everyone conitnues to say that. No one cares if he was sleeping around. HE LIED UNDER OATH. That's the bottom line. HE CONSPIRED TO HAVE A MAN FIRED. The city had to pay out 8.4 MILLION DOLLARS for his lying. That's what the messages showed.
It is not ok. I sympathize with his family but I sympathize more with the horrible image he left our great city. I really feel sorry for the people that think this has all happened beacuse he is black and he's young. Wake up people.

Cher W. at 6:38PM on Sep 4th 2008

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