If you put your money on R. Kelly heading to prison for an alleged underage sex tape of unspeakable acts, you lost. R. Kelly won. Finally, it's time to pay up and move on.
You might have made that bet six years ago, when "celebrity sex tapes" were becoming the norm, before YouTube. Back when Chappelle's Show was still on the air! ...
R. Kelly Trial
R&B singer R. Kelly (L) arrives at the Cook County courthouse where jury selection is scheduled to begin for his child pronography trial May 9, 2007 in Chicago, Illinois. Kelly has been accused of videotaping himself having sex with a girl believed to be as young as 13 years old. Kelly faces up to 15 years in prison if convicted.
Getty Images
Singer R. Kelly, left, arrives with a bodyguard for the first day of jury selection in his child pornography trial at the Cook County Criminal Courthouse in Chicago, Friday, May 9, 2008. Grammy-winning R&B singer R. Kelly faces child pornography charges, prompted by a videotape allegedly showing him having sex with a girl as young as 13.
(AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh)
Singer R. Kelly, left, arrives with a bodyguard for the first day of jury selection in his child pornography trial at the Cook County Criminal Courthouse in Chicago, Friday, May 9, 2008. Grammy-winning R&B singer R. Kelly faces child pornography charges, prompted by a videotape allegedly showing him having sex with a girl as young as 13.
(AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh)
Singer R. Kelly, center, arrives with bodyguards for the first day of jury selection in his child pornography trial at the Cook County Criminal Courthouse in Chicago, Friday, May 9, 2008. Kelly faces charges he videotaped himself having sex with an underage girl. After six years of repeated delays, his trial begins.
AP
Kelly arrives for the first day of jury selection in his child pornography trial at the Cook County Criminal Courthouse in Chicago, Friday, May 9, 2008. Grammy-winning R&B singer R. Kelly faces child pornography charges, prompted by a videotape allegedly showing him having sex with a girl as young as 13.
AP
THEY SAID HE DID WHAT TO THAT GIRL?!?!? Was it a setup? Was there a mole on his back? Wait. Is that R. Kelly's Grammy on the mantel and "Bump N' Grind" playing in the background?
None of it matters. The case is closed.
Now, R. Kelly's an innocent man and goes down in the bizarre criminal case studies that include O.J. Simpson, Kobe Bryant, Michael Jackson, and most recently Michael Vick.
More Coverage
+ R. Kelly Acquitted of Child Porn Charges


1. OH DAMN!!!!! now all those fake ass comedians and/or radio personalities will have to find some new material. I know I'm not the only one who was tired of hearing all those stale ass jokes.
mr.russell at 9:32PM on Jun 13th 2008