By Rebecca Brody, Certified Empowerment Coach
Q: My boyfriend and I have been living with each other for 2 years. For several months I had a medical problem and I didn't have any desire to have sex. Now that I'm well, I have my sex drive back, but every time I try to initiate sex, he stops it. I'm feeling lonely and undersexed, and I've noticed other guys hitting on me. Is it ever okay to cheat?
A: When you have chosen to be in a committed relationship it is never okay to cheat. Cheating is not only disrespectful and hurtful, but also dangerous. You could contract an STD, and do irreparable damage to yourself and your relationship. It sounds like your relationship is not fulfilling your needs, but before you make the decision to end it, I suggest you have a very frank discussion with your partner and get to the heart of what the real issues are. This is your opportunity to step up and grow by being an adult. Choose to work through the tough times in your relationship with your partner, and if you feel you can't work it out on your own, seek coaching or counseling. If you are truly committed to your relationship now is the time to show it.
Q: If I have anal sex, am I still a virgin?
A: There are many different definitions for virginity; therefore it is your choice to believe what ever you choose when it comes to your own body. A virgin, according to the American dictionary is defined as someone who has never had sexual intercourse. Sexual intercourse is a sexual union between humans involving genital contact and penetration. In this circumstance, anal sex is considered a loss of virginity. In some cultures the loss of virginity must entail a breaking of the hymen through penetration by the male member. If you use this definition then anal sex is not a loss of virginity. It is up to you to define virginity for yourself and understand how that applies to your own body. Your body is the only one you have, and there is no one in the world who shares your uniqueness, so treat it with love and respect.
Rebecca Brody is currently a Life Empowerment coach in New York City. Her area of expertise is in relationship coaching. She is a graduate of Vassar and Ipec, and has trained with the Relationship Coaching Institute. She is ICF certified, and has been studying social interaction, relationships and coupling for over a decade. To work with Coach Brody contact Brody@theluvcoach.com, or go to www.theluvcoach.com.
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John_Public said: "Ma'am -- you know the deal..... when there are 2 Black folks showing love -- mass media does not find it newsworthy to show Black love. On the other hand -- if they were strung out on drugs, or acting like a minstrel -- they'd have a reality show by now. We have seen this already...." (Photo: Kevin Mazur, WireImage.com)
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Ling1980 said:
1. I don't think there is as much hate for "Black" single mothers as there is contempt for the actions of single mothers period. Seeing how these women don't know who fathered their babies and bringing them on national television to expose their dirty laundry would make any one have contempt for women. Especially if he stuck by this woman and cared for her and the child. When a man gets hurt it take many many years for him to get over it. Now he treats all the women like whores. Who can blame him. Im angry at the shhiitt I see these women do and Im a woman. I would never put myself, my child or my man through something like that. It's devastating. So hate, contempt call it what u want. What the hell do u expect?
Leslie at 11:21AM on May 10th 2008