She Caught the Crazy on the Bunny Slopes!

By Rebecca Brody, Certified Empowerment Coach

When my boyfriend suggested we head to Vermont for a snowboarding mini break, I was more than enthused. I take to the ocean like a baby in the womb, so the chance to cultivate a relationship with the snow inspired thoughts of a romantic winter get away.

My boyfriend and I are in the honeymoon phase of dating, so much of the four-hour drive to Smugglers Notch (a name which sends me into a fit of giggles), is spent kissing, touching, and smiling. We arrive in time for a late dinner, and then snuggle up to catch some shut eye. Unable to sleep, I was brimming with excitement. It didn't matter that I had never been snow boarding. I had taken a ski lesson several years ago, and had managed to go from bunny slope to intermediate trail in one day. This would be a breeze.

I planned to get a snow boarding lesson but by the time we stepped onto the slopes and I saw the line leading up to the instruction booth, my impatience won out. My boyfriend was also anxious and offered to teach me himself. He knew how to snowboard fairly well, and with my raw natural talent for sports, I figured we would be a success.

The lift took us halfway up the mountain, and we laughed at snowboarders who careened into trees. I was all smiles. We buckled both feet on to the board and he explained how to shift your weight from side to side, so as to snake down the mountain gracefully. I made a few attempts and landed on my bottom or my face. I consider these my two best assets, and was none too pleased to know that I was doing damage to both. I got up and tried again, managing to stay up this time. The board accelerated, and I went speeding off down the hill.

"FALL!" screamed my boyfriend, as I almost careened into a skier.

"Sorry! Sorry!" I croaked, as the skier threw me a dirty look.

"You have to be careful, honey. You can't go plowing into other people. You could hurt someone."

No Sh&t! I thought indignantly, but only managed to pipe in another sorry.

So far this wasn't going as planned, but I was determined to keep a positive attitude. I flailed down the rest of the mountain, and managed only to look remotely like a snow boarder as the ground leveled off.

"Shall we go again?" my boyfriend asked cheerily.

My mind said no, but my mouth said sure, so off to the lift we went. This time my boyfriend took me all the way to the top of the mountain. My confidence was waning and as I slid off the chair and fell on my back. I knew this was not going to get better.

We made our way down, and got stuck on a flat. You have to hop your snow board across flat areas of snow to reach the next slope, which is an exhausting feat. When I finally managed to move forward, I boarded straight off the course and into the trees.

Every time I tried to get up, my board would slide deeper into the woods. I had to crawl back onto the path, which was no easy task since I was so heavily layered I felt like I was in a giant sumo fat suit.

My frustration was brimming over when I boarded around a corner and saw my boyfriend sitting on a snow bank drinking water. I tried to move toward him and spun out of control. Remembering to fall, my board sliced a clean chunk out of his, and my wrists crashed into the snow sending shooting pains up both arms. Tears sprung to my eyes, then immediately froze on my cheeks. I was cold, miserable and hurt, and all I wanted was to get off this damn mountain.

We finally made it down, and my boyfriend could tell from the look on my face that it would be my last run. Making our way to the lodge, I had hoped to find a warm fire and hot chocolate. Instead I was deposited in a cold room full of screaming kids. My wrists had swollen to the size of tennis balls. My boyfriend bought ice packs and pressed them lovingly against my skin. I wanted to be left alone to lick my wounds (as any proper Leo would), so I told him to go back and get a few runs in. He refused of course, wanting to take care of me, but I insisted he get his money's worth.
Sitting alone and miserable, the crazy thoughts began to stir. Well that was a big failure. What a waste of money. I'm all alone. Why are those kids staring at me? Just leave me alone. I wish I were in my bed. I made my way to the bathroom and upon looking in the mirror saw that my eyes were rimmed with a black sooty substance. The goggles had rubbed off, my cheeks were bright red, my hair was frizzed out from the sweat and snow, and my eyes were puffy from crying. I looked frightening.

I sat for hours waiting for my boyfriend to return as the crazy thoughts continued to swirl. Seizing the opportunity to stop stewing in my own self pity, I returned the snow gear. Making my way back to the lodge, I waited impatiently. I finally saw my boyfriend wandering and I rushed out to meet him.

"Where were you?" he asked. I looked everywhere for you!"

My thoughts raged: Where was I? I was sitting alone in this cold, pitiful little lodge, full of screaming children, icing my wrists, which wouldn't hurt if you were a decent instructor. Where was I? WHERE WERE YOU?

Sound the alarms, I had Caught the Crazy! With one look my boyfriend knew not to push it.

We got in the car, and the silence between us was punctuated by the sounds of my sniffling. I closed my eyes. Years of relationship coaching training had taught me to keep my negative thoughts to myself, until I could communicate them in a healthy way. I took several deep breathes and centered myself.

The real issue was that I felt like a failure for not being able to learn quickly. This need for instant accomplishment had plagued me throughout life, and I would beat myself up if I didn't succeed. This was an unhealthy practice and I decided it was time to end it. I needed to change the way I looked at this whole situation. Instead of thinking I was a failure, I had to see that I was a success for trying something new in my life.

I am an adventurous, thrill seeking woman, with a zest for life. I am full of love." Repeating this mantra over and over, I began to shift my energy. My boyfriend, who is used to this sort of thing, looked over and grinned. "Feel better?" he asked. I nodded.

He reached his arm around and pressed me into the crook of his shoulder, knowing that this is my favorite place in the world. I realized that I was not only a success on the slopes, but a success in my relationship. I had the power to stop catching the crazy!