Tony Dungy's Winning Season Of Loss

Hug your kid. That's a good place to start for a story without much good. Hug your kid (or your niece, nephew, cousins' or even your neighbors' kids) then look them in the eye and say, well, say anything. Ask them to play a video game. Ask them about school. Ask them if they'd like to go for a walk.

And even then know that there's no guarantee that'll be enough.

Tony Dungy buried his son Tuesday. And what may be most heart-rending about the tragic death of 18-year-old James Dungy last week – a suicide, apparently- is that his father and mother did all those things and more. By all accounts, Tony and Lauren Dungy are parents by-the-book, said book being the Bible.

Faith and Family seem to be the two words most written about Dungy in the days since James was discovered dead in his apartment last Thursday. Anyone who knows him, works with him, covers him - heck just reads about him – knows Dungy always put faith and family ahead of all else, including being one of the most under-appreciated coaches in all of sports.

Even as he was leading the Indianapolis Colts through the magical first 13 games of this NFL season, one could see that the winning did not consume him. It all seemed more amusing than overwhelming – more fun. Yes, his football eye was focused on the main prize, the Super Bowl. But that aspiration did not seem to burden him, as it does so many others who've never earned a ring.

Dungy seemed to be getting it right, through the winning and in defeat. After the Colts lost their first game of the season two Sundays ago, which inspired the 1972 Miami Dolphins to raise glasses in celebration of their lone undefeated season (man, that seems like months ago), he wore a bit of a smile. The loss, he knew, allowed him to return to the main business of the season.

Then life happened.

James' death shook us all. It shook those who never met the kid. The news made us pause and wonder if we were hearing things right, then made us pray we were not. Not Tony Dungy's kid. Not him. Not now.

Sadly, James Dungy was not the only child to die last Thursday. And likely not even only teenager to take his own life that day. Teen suicide is a national ache that too often comes without warning, or at least without warning signs that seem to amount to anything more than being-a-teenager stuff. Although the stats seem miniscule – about one percent of all teens attempt suicide, of which about one percent are successful - it is the third-leading cause of death among youths ages 10 through 19, trailing only auto accidents and homicide. About one in 10,000 teens dies from suicide each year.

Teen suicide also does not discriminate, striking most often, it seems, those families that seem to "have it all."

The Dungys, with the fortune and fame that come with being an NFL head coach, certainly have it all by any material measure. But they have so much more.

In an age when coaches are being fired for praying with their players and parents across the nation are tripping over themselves to drop "under God" from the Pledge of Allegiance and argue about whether "intelligent design" should be taught in school (how 'bout teaching some MATH!), Tony Dungy is a Christian man without shame. He did not wear his faith "on his sleeve" (a description seemingly used to put down someone of faith), it emanated from his pores and filled his every breath. He walked the talk. And know what? It didn’t offend a soul. He wasn't perfect. No true Christian is. But he tried in every way to be the man Gods wants men to be and was not ashamed of it.

That's why James Dungy's death shook us, and maybe not him.

On Monday evening thousands of mourners waited in line outside the Wilson Funeral Home in Tampa to share their grief with the Dungys. Some waited as long as three hours to offer their condolences to the family. After having just left Tony Dungy, one friend told a reporter: "He has such strength."

Many are not surprised.

Rev. Clarence C. Moore pastors the Northside New Era Baptist Church in Indianapolis, where the Dungys worship. Last week, he told the Indianapolis Star: " had already told the ministry here that God was going to raise Tony Dungy up for the world to see how one of His servants could handle success. But it looks like God had kind of turned the tables. Now, the world is going to see how he is going to handle adversity."

There but for His grace. Hug your kid.