For Myself & Others: Christmas Playlist Needs an Overhaul
By Bomani Jones, Special to AOL BlackVoices
Some things are guaranteed at Christmas. Malls are going to be jam-packed with stressed-out spenders, many of whom are mortgaging the first half of 2005 to bring a grin to their children’s faces. Excuses to get drunk, which masquerade as Christmas parties, run rampant. And somebody, somewhere is playing Donny Hathaway’s 'This Christmas' again.
I love Donny as much as the next man, but if I hear that song one more time, we may have problems. But it’s not Donny’s fault that no one has made a Christmas record that approaches his classic in the 25 years since his untimely passing.
Only three Christmas songs recorded in my lifetime have done it for me -- Prince and the Revolution’s ‘Another Lonely Christmas,’ Run-DMC’s ‘Christmas in Hollis’ and OutKast’s ‘Player’s Ball’ (that’s right -- listen close for the sleigh bells). Other than those, we’ve been stuck with corny, dry Christmas songs from everyone from TLC to Destiny’s Child. Things are so bad that I borrowed money to buy Stevie Wonder’s ‘Someday at Christmas’ when it was re-released in the mid-’90s.
The problem is that Christmas albums are record labels’ way of quickly capitalizing upon an artist’s success. Sold 10 million records? Hurry up, go to the studio, bang out a Christmas record, and have it done by next week! The results are like sparsely seasoned dressing -- low on flavor. While some may try to convince me that Boyz II Men’s ‘Let It Snow’ is a good record, it’s guaranteed to put me to sleep. It’s hard enough to stay awake after dinner without help from the stereo.
Instead, the listeners get stuck with the Christmas classics of yesteryear over and over again. You can almost guess which carol radio stations are going to play on the hour in December. If ‘This Christmas’ came on at 8 and ‘Someday at Christmas’ came on at 9, then it must be time for ‘Santa Claus Go Straight to the Ghetto!’ Add on the Jackson 5’s ‘Santa Claus is Coming to Town,’ ‘What Do the Lonely Do’ by the Emotions, and the O’Jays’ ‘Christmas Ain’t Christmas,’ we’ve dictated almost half of any black radio station’s Christmas playlist. And in an attempt to kill all my Christmas cheer, some DJ is guaranteed to play ‘Santa Baby,’ Eartha Kitt’s greedy, gold-digging anthem.
The classics of yesteryear are getting stale, and something has to do something about this. Rarely would I ever feel compelled to ask an artist to do something to make me happy --their musicians, not jukeboxes -- but for me, the kids, Kris Kringle, and even Ron Karenga, could someone put a fresh Christmas record under my tree?
There are but so many spins one could put on the holidays that haven’t been done ad nauseam, but being repetitive has never stopped these cats before. If singers can give us a million and one love songs, they can also come with a dope new carol for the world. Christmas is a timeless topic, so getting it right wouldn’t require much.
All they’d need to do is watch a child try to sleep on Christmas Eve while bounding with the energy supplied by the thought of Christmas morning. If that can’t motivate someone to put pen to paper, perhaps he or she is in the wrong line of work. But if childlike enthusiasm doesn’t do the trick, stick with the themes that already work. For the materialists, wouldn’t it be dope if 50 Cent dropped ‘Santa Claus Must Work at Circuit City?’ Doesn’t ‘All I Want for Christmas is Two More Chains’ sound like a great way for Slick Rick to get back on top? And now that Lil Jon has made a foray into R&B, a Crunk-mas carol can’t be far behind!
OK, maybe not, but nothing beats a good Christmas song. However, the one thing that can help a strong, old Christmas song is a fresh new one. Here’s hoping Santa -- or as he’s known at my house, my parents -- can leave a couple of new ones under the tree for me. That’s a gift that will keep on giving.
Dec. 6, 2004